In a downward spiral - how to stop!?

[BlueTurnip]

Hello everyone,

I've had a pretty bad second half of the year and with the accumulation of stressful events and periods, I've realised last week that I've entered the downward spiral. I'm desperate to stop it before it gets worse but don't know how - none of my usual techniques work at the moment. I am not treated or on any medication and have an exceptionally busy/stressful end of year - I just need to hear what are your techniques to lift yourself up and stop the fall - maybe there's something I didn't try.

I tried resting, I tried reaching for my favourite activities/things that usually give me pleasure/relief/rest, I tried focusing on here and now but nothing is working and I am slowly slipping into abyss. My focus at the moment is just being functional and taking it day by day but there must be more I can try to help myself.

Hi Op, sorry to hear about it. ❤️

Firstly don’t panic! Remember it’s ok to have a bad period and it sounds like you’ve had a lot of stress. You can and will feel better.

It might slightly depend on what the causes are, is it work stress? Personal life? Bad events?

It might be worth looking at having some therapy and speaking to someone professionally. It can really help to unload and help identify the root causes/triggers. Also just carving out that time for yourself. If you can afford it I would look at booking some sessions privately.

It’s hard to know whether you should consider medication from what you’ve said so far, but I would definitely consider a GP appointment to chat things through.

Other general things:

• can you book a holiday/some time off? It sounds like you need to get away from everything
• lots of getting out in nature. Dog walks are great (you could do borrow my doggy). There are lots of free/cheap walking groups (look up ramblers) who will take you on a guided walk
• Run yourself a warm bath with lots of Epsom salts to help relax your muscles. Put in some spa music and light a candle.
• Hows your sleep? Try and get some extra hours each night. Stay off your phone before bedtime.
• Getting some exercise (I know it’s tough in this weather)! Yoga with Adrienne on YouTube has lots of lovely yogas for stress/anxiety/bad days. Even better get out for a group yoga class! Getting your sweat on can really help.
• Writing lists/write down your worries. Try and get organised as you can to cope with stresses
• Don't be afraid to ask for help from family/friends/neighbours
• Make sure you are eating healthily and not slipping into east ready meals etc. Get lots of veg in you. Gut boosting foods like kefir etc.
• Take some magnesium at night to help your stress levels/sleep. Check your other levels in case you are low in iron etc

Most of all remember to breathe! Xx

@Squiggles23 , thank you so much for taking the time to write this!

I had a few very bad months both professionally and privately (including death of a close family member, cuts at work etc), and while on a rational level I understand it is all life and have dealt with issues as they were emerging, I've found myself grasping for air the last few weeks. I have time off booked between Xmas and NYE so right now all my focus is just getting there. However, I have a small child and I have to do better for her.

I'm on the other side of the scale regarding sleep - that is literally the only thing I want to do. My usual things - books, music, walks, baking - none of them work.

I should probably try to see a professional. I usually try to cope on my own but I am not sure I have it in me at the moment.

Sounds like a really tough time @BlueTurnip. Probably because you have your DC you’ve not given yourself the time to grieve as much as you would have liked. It will be much tougher trying to keep showing up each day.

Could you see if your work has an employee assistance programme (EAP) you might be able to access some help through that. I also wouldn’t be afraid to take some time off sick just to give yourself a break.

How much sleep are you getting? Your body probably thinks it needs it but it could go the other way if it’s too much! I think this might be where getting outside and/or exercising might help.

Do you wfh or go in the office?

🤍

I can’t take time off right now due to everything that’s happening at work. I can, however, look for professional help privately and will start the search today.

not getting more sleep than usual (7-8h) but not because I don’t want to but because I am forcing myself to do everything that needs doing. Sleep is, however, the only thing providing relief atm.

I wfh and I do need to try to exercise more - just struggling to find energy and time right now.

Sometimes I find working from home I’m more lethargic and find it hard to feel like I’ve actually ‘woken up’.

I think your body might be telling you it needs an extra hour or so though so perhaps trying to get an early night and letting yourself rest may help?

But yes definitely doing a little bit of exercise could make a big difference if you can!

Eating well - so cut out processed food as much as poss, maybe yoga/Pilates at home on YouTube

consider a SAD lamp?

I am going through a divorce with a bullying husband.

One time I was having a therapy session on the phone, and I said I felt I was spiralling down.

My therapist asked me to tell her what had been happening that week. After I told her she said my reactions were perfectly normal considering the situation.

I don’t know why, but that helped me enormously.

I would suggest trying to take a few minutes each time during the day with some meditation/breathing exercises. It helps calm you in the moment. It works best for me if it’s guided and there’s is a voice telling me to breath and think of a calming place, notice your breath, let those thoughts go etc. so YouTube is where to look I guess.

As soon as you can, try and see your GP.

Anhedonia is the word for losing motivation and enjoyment doing the things that you used to like doing. It can be symptom of of depression.

I hope things improve soon.

Sorry OP. Know how that feels. I've had a rough few years too. My dad has end stage dementia and was staying with us for a couple of months, along with the stress that comes with that and having a one year old I was going mad. My brother has schizophrenia and is in and out of really stressful situations. Life can hand you chaos sometimes and it's important to keep yourself grounded.

Usually I:
Ensure I get enough sleep. If not sleep, then to be in a comfy bed, newly washed sheets, for at least 9-10 hours, just resting with eyes closed.
Take a break from the phone, especially social media
Stop listening to the news
Get out in nature
Listen to philosophy (I love how it contextualises things)
Write about it
Art therapy
Be kind to yourself

@Squiggles23 , will definitely try to have an early night and to get back to exercising - even if it is something light.

@Quitelikeit I'm wildly oscillating between days when eating even an apple is too much of an effort and days when no junk food is junk enough. That got completely out of control and is currently on both sides of the extreme - just not where it needs to be. I still cook for DD but my own appetite is all over the place. What is a SAD lamp?

@Isheabastard , thank you - sorry you're going through a difficult time as well. Hopefully there's a light at the end of the tunnel for both of us.

@sillyme563 , so sorry for your dad's situation - I can only imagine the stress for you. I am trying to cut out sources of bad news as I found all the negativity in the media overwhelming recently. I haven't tried writing about it and may do - I used to love writing.

Definitely, go for it. I downloaded an app called Diary. Every day I get a reminder to write in it, and every day I write about what I am grateful for. Gratitude journaling is so good for your mental health.
I've signed up to a million courses on domestika (and not done any of them) but there are some around illustrating your daily life etc. I think that's quite interesting.
My job is as an academic researcher - and I look at how non-medical interventions can be integrated into the healthcare system. Art, nature, culture, socialising: all great for your mental health.

@BlueTurnip I'm sure that you have considered this already - have you tried audiobooks rather than having to read? I let them wash over me and they help me relax. Good luck.

Just to answer your question earlier a SAD lamp is for seasonal affected disorder. Basically because we aren’t getting much sun in the winter (assuming you are UK or similar) a lot of people can start getting a type of seasonal depression and can cause lethargy etc.

If you google SAD lamps you get some which recreate the sunlight basically to help with it. Just make sure you get a good one as I think sometimes dodgy ones use the name but are just normal lamps.

I haven’t tried it but it was a good suggestion to consider, especially if you’ve always found winters harder

I'm truly of the mindset that SAD at this time of year makes everything harder....we have until 21st December then it starts reversing.

So even if you do just manage the basics and a few simple things to help it is likely to start getter better naturally too. I think SAD makes all the bodies alarm systems go off. Imagine from cave man times it is warning us, have we got enough prepared to hibernate over winter?! I'm not sure if that helps but I think sometimes we put the onus all on us to fix everything.