I was bought up in a disfunctional home. Dad was a drunk and violent physical and emotional abuse. Mum was very,very emotionally abusive. Blamed me for everything even up until I was 30. My dad never hit my mum ( mum was fine with him hitting us " he never hits me")but was emotionally abusive. She was a pain in the backside arguing with him then stood back as he took his anger out on us kids. Except my sister. She was typical golden child. Never hit ,shouted at or belittled. I say belittled we were downright humiliated in front of our friends and neighbours. Mum's favourite was pulling our knickers down in front of other kids and smacking us whilst screaming at us. I don't mean the odd slap I mean marks and bruises. Dad would punch and kick us regularly, threatened us. Golden child sister sided with mum and dad and caused loads of trouble.
We grew up and GC is still an absolute bitch. She still thinks she's special and should be treated that way by everyone including me and my other sister. We don't have anything to do with her. We did try but she's vile. If we don't go back to playing the family roles she gets annoyed. She can't be trusted she's a back stabber. She lies and gets sympathy as she's so desperate for attention.
I speak to my mum and dad as they're old now but it's under the understanding they treat me and my other sister with respect and treated equally with the GC sister. That was fine until last week. My dad was ill and me and my other sister were pushed out and ignored because GC sister was at my mums. We tried to phone and text for a couple of days but were blanked. My mum has to 'prove' to GC sister how much more important she is and does this by ignoring my other sister and me. I'm used to it but I thought we'd gotten past all that and the past was past. We forgave a hell of a lot on the understanding it wasn't to happen again but it has. I'm shocked how badly it has hurt me. It's like being a battered kid again . I'm so angry with myself I feel this way and that I've let them hurt me again. I also want to thump my GC sister. I haven't let them see how much I'm hurt I've just acted un bothered but have been only cordial with my mum. She's trying to suck up to me again now but I'm not interested. I told her if she did it again I'd not put up with it. It's taken me years to come to terms with my childhood. It was really bad aggression, fights, being beaten ,mentally abused by both of them and being told we were dirt and hated. Almost everyday. I could of accepted it more if that's just the way they were but watching them be deliberately over nice with GC sister hurt more as we could see they could be nice. It just made us feel even more humiliated.
I don't want to give my mum or dad another chance I've had enough but should I? Am I in the wrong here? I get to a point where I feel OK and then they go and do it again. They don't care about my feelings and aren't sorry for the past.