Signs of ADD/ADHD in adults

[YoungerHeart]

I'm a 35 year old mum and in recent years I have wondered if I suffer from ADD/ADHD or something else or nothing!

When I sit at home watching tv I just sit and constantly look around thinking oh the tv needs cleaned or I need to hoover or the windows are dirty. I end up half the time not really watching what's on or pause it to go and do the jobs then come back or make myself a deadline like at the next break I'll do this this and this.

I also start jobs but get side tracked with other jobs. This morning for example I started to empty the bins then went to collect some more rubbish but ended up putting shoes away then packing up parcels and all the jobs were half started! I do always finish them but it's like I'm doing one thing but then see another that annoys me so I do it too.

I can never just go to the bathroom and do the toilet or have a shower- I always end up cleansing the sink or the tiles.

My husband and complains that tidy up behind him before he's ever finished using things or getting ready.

Lastly I find when people are talking I tune out sometimes or I switch the subject as my mind is onto something else.

Is this signs of ADD or anything else?

Some people might say yes, however it just sounds like a normal short attention span to me. Everyone seems to think they have ADD/ADHD now, I think it’s a tik-tok trend thing. (It’s the 7th most popular hashtag).

• Is this stuff happening continually every day (E.g multiple times a day?). Anyone can be messy, distracted.
• Were you like this as a kid?
• Have you lived up to your potential?
• have you struggled academically, socially or emotionally? (Most would struggle with at least one)

I’m 40 and I do similar things to you except the watching TV thing.

I think I have adhd traits

Possibly or just cognitive overload.

Don’t meant to hijack your thread OP but I also agree with this, I would say I have a very short attention span and get bored easily! Especially when having to listen to people talk (I find a lot of people and things boring 😐)

Phone use and social media has a lot to answer for IMO.
My attention span is shot to pieces through overuse of my phone. It's so much harder to focus nowadays. Not necessarily ADD.

I have ADHD and life is not worth living it's that debilitating, I don't function at all in society and struggle to get through each and every day.

So while I don't doubt people who say they have ADHD the reality is the mild ADHD symptoms that some people experience or can relate to versus a life in a completely different world that NT people couldn't possibly imagine are very different as is lots of neurodiversity's there's a spectrum and those on one end don't experience the same life as those on the other end.

Symptoms have to have been present in childhood. It's all through my school reports how I was disorganized, day dreaming.

Also how much does it impact your life now is an important consideration as to whether to seek a diagnosis.

These dismissive 'everyone has adhd nowadays' comments are really irritating. My 18 year old daughter has just been diagnosed. She's suffered anxiety, agoraphobia, lost schooling due to the condition. Thank god she now has answers. I look at my husband who has struggled with it without diagnosis but learned to live with it ( although I have been driven crazy by it). I look at his elderly mother (87) who has clearly also lived with it but not been diagnosed. Yes, she got on with it but her constant lateness, inability to really hold down jobs through her life, constant forgetfulness surely had an impact on her life and others.

If you think you may have it then please consider your loved ones too and get a diagnosis.

If you're concerned, it is something worth exploring. The things you've described are typical of ADHD but also of other things. You haven't mentioned emotional regulation, overwhelm, over/understimulation, historical symptoms (ADHD is something that you will have always had if you have it now, although it's impact will ebb and flow with stress and lifestyle factors). I am a psychologist (not in the UK) and see a number of people (women in particular) who have never responded to anti depressants or anxiety meds but when they try ADHD meds are able to thrive in ways they hadn't thought possible in adulthood. People are being very dismissive about seeing it on TikTok but TikTok is a dopamine slot machine - of course ADHD people flock to it. On top of that, the adult diagnostic criteria is often a better fit for girls than the pediatric one, which heavily skews towards male presentation. However, we can't use it until those girls turn 18.

OP in my case it isn’t just that I don’t get the dishes done or the bills paid but that I get really stressed about not having those things done, and I leave them to the point of paying fines or no dishes left at all. It bothers me and I want them done and think a lot about doing it but have a very hard time getting started. I have a lot of sleepless nights stressing about things that I need to do that I haven’t done but should have done. I generally can’t organize or plan my time in an effective way.

Thanks all for your responses.

I hadn't thought about the wider impact which doesn't seem to be typical of my personality.

I am able to regulate my emotions appropriately, I am organised in other aspects of my life (doesn't affect my work life), I don't think I had any indicators as a child or these were never brought up to my parents if I did?

My response isn’t intended to be that way. Your daughter clearly has it by what you’ve said and there’s a family history. However, it won’t help her if 25% of her class also say they have it because it diminishes it. Saying too many people think they have it does not mean that no one has it.

The thing that gets me is that I hear it constantly now. Have friends with super successful lives, completely ‘normal’ in every way and they say they have it. The reasoning is always such normal stuff. I agree with the PP think attention spans are just shot as a result of phones. I also read those things and think I must have ADD! But clearly we can’t all have it so need to have some threshold of what’s considered normal ‘scattiness’.

Sorry meant to tag @decionsdecisions62 ! X

@Squiggles23 but it really doesn't matter what people say they have. Just like people saying 'omg I'm ocd because I'm so organised'. I don't ever expect them to be diagnosed. It's just a silly expression. It depends on whether they have a diagnosis of adhd and that is a long and complex process to get.