Need a handhold please

[thinkfast]

Ive been suffering with depression and anxiety for several years. I've seen my GP who prescribed sertraline and propanolol.I take the propranolol as needed and was too anxious to ever take the sertraline.

I've also just completed a course of 6 sessions of CBT for anxiety which my GP referred me for and I've been discharged from that service.

I have a lot going on, financial worries plus work/ family worries / highly stressful job and was feeling very very low yesterday evening. Very tearful and suicidal. Extremely low energy.

I'm also obese but have no energy or enthusiasm to do anything about that at the moment. It takes all the strength I can muster to wake up and get out of bed in the mornings. I have very, very little time to myself due to DH and me both working full time.

My DH knows I suffer with depression and anxiety and I told my parents a few months ago.

Yesterday evening my mum asked how I was. I was feeling really low and said not good and got a bit tearful. Normally I would just tell her everything's fine. She gave me a kiss and said don't worry about anything, but then said I need to do some exercise. She came back in the room a few minutes later, told me my brother and sister are both on antidepressants, and told me I need to go on a diet. I told her to leave me alone but she came back again and told me that I need to join weight watchers. I told her to shut up and go away.

I can't get over this. It's been playing in my mind all day and making everything seem ten times worse. Yes, I know I'm obese, yes, I know I need to lose weight and do some exercise, but I feel like it was such an insensitive thing to say to someone who's feeling suicidal. I know she means it from a place of love because she's worried about me, but I can't get over how thoughtless she was.

Any tips to get over this and to improve my mood generally would be much appreciated!

Hi OP,

Sorry to hear that you are struggling.

What’s driving the anxiety about taking sertraline? From what you’ve said I think it could be a massive help to you if you were willing to give it a go?

Your mums comments are obviously insensitive and she sounds like she didn’t really get the hint. I think sometimes the older generation can be a bit practical and it’s not always the nicest way to approach.

Exercise can hugely help mood. It’s so so hard to get going, especially like this when it’s cold and dark all the time. However, if you can start doing something a couple of times a week you might notice how good it feels. That is so much easier said than done though!!

Thanks very much for your comments.

I'm nervous to take the sertraline as the GP said I might feel worse for a couple of weeks before I feel better, and I can't imagine feeling any worse. I'm also nervous that once I start it may be hard to stop. Maybe I should just bite the bullet and take it...

I also know exercise would be good for me, I just can't face doing anything at the moment. I'm getting by doing the bare minimum.

I was on sertaline for a couple of years, I didn't feel worse to begin with so it's not a given. I also came off them quite easily when I got pregnant and so wasn't on them forever - it helped me get through a difficult time in my life. They will probably help you so try to give them a go.

I think you'll feel better if you don't talk to you mum for a while.

Also the Samaritans app is quite good. You can add a Safety Plan where you write what your own 'warning signs' are and what your coping strategies are.

Personally I find exercise makes me feel really happy, but I can only bring myself to do it when I'm not feeling depressed. You probably need to cheer yourself up before you have the motivation to exercise (but if not, good for you, you've more willpower than me!).

Treat yourself to some nice presents for now. Vitamins, nice gym clothes, skincare, etc. if it's a choice between wasting money or being dead... choose wasting money for now! 😊

Yes I don’t think that’s a given, just a warning for something to watch out for. There’s a really good chance it might help so I would say go for it! You don’t have anything to lose. Maybe you could ask a friend or your DH to just check in with you and have a plan for if things did get worse.

Yes totally agree it’s hard to do anything when you are feeling awful. Try and get out the house for a walk every day if you aren’t already. Is there a park where you could do a loop and get a coffee or anything like that? I also recommend yoga with Adriene on YouTube who has some really gentle yogas (you could type in yoga for anxiety, stress for bad days… she will have made one). She’s lovely and always makes me feel good.

I really laughed at @closingdownsale ’s comment and totally agree with little treats for yourself to make your day even a tiny bit brighter.

When things are really bad just remember that it will pass, give yourself a big hug and keep telling yourself everything will be ok.
X

Ha! Finances are very tight which is a huge part of the problem. But I guess you're right anything's better than being dead. Although sometimes it doesn't feel that way.

I also have a leg injury which means I can't go for a long walk which would be one of my coping strategies usually.

Sorry you’re feeling so down. Walking might be a good place to start, perhaps going for a walk with a friend, and/or somewhere beautiful or just somewhere you need to get to. No special clothes needed so can be easier to get out. Or if you have stairs just go up and down them a few times and every few days increase the amount. I imagine you’ll feel better about your mother’s comments in a few days, as you say she cares about you and was probably trying to help, and feelings often subside after a few days. Hope you can find something in your life that makes you happy and gives you a sense of control and things moving in the right direction, even if you’re celebrating small steps

Sorry I cross posted and so didn’t see you had a leg injury. Agree with previous posters about being kind to yourself, sometimes life is really hard. Celebrating small steps was meant metaphorically as well as literally, doesn’t have to be walking! Posting on here is a positive thing that took mental energy so that’s great that you reached out.

What dose sertraline did they suggest. I’ve been on it 12 weeks. I am by means 100% but have seen a huge improvement. I started on 25mg and am now on 37.5. Start low dose and it will minimise side effects. You can always try it and if you don’t like it, stop taking it.

That was a really helpful suggestion. I've just done a short yoga with Adrienne video for stress and anxiety. I feel a lot better - well I've stopped the uncontrollable crying. Not sure my injured leg was too keen on it, but I took it easy. Thank you.

25 mg. It says to take in the mornings so perhaps I'll take one tomorrow.

Thanks for your support everyone. My depression plus covid has made my world a lot smaller. I mostly work from home, hate socialising so lost lots of friends, so have a more time to think (although still very little time to myself)...

I know some people who started on a half dose of the 25mg. So 12.5. Then tried it for a week and then went up to 25.

Ahh I’m so pleased you tried it! I love how they are mostly around 20 minutes so a lot more manageable. Also Adriene is just so sweet.

Yes taking 12.5mg to start with for sertraline in the first week isn’t a bad idea especially if you are feeling anxious.

It’s easy to get a bit stuck inside especially with wfh. Even if it feels an ordeal trying to get out and socialise occasionally can definitely help.

I think you’ve made a couple of really positive steps and hopefully it might be a turning point 🤞🏼