Worrying due to anxiety (especially health anxiety) - anyone else identify with this?

[Worridoncemore]

Apologies, posted this in another thread, but in case it gets buried thought I'd start a new one.

I have health anxiety, but this could be relevant to any kind of worrying really. Was wondering if other suffers went through the same thought processes of worrying as me? If I'm worried about an issue, I can go through the following cycle numerous times a day:

1. What the issue is & the reasons why I fear it could be something bad (usually cancer).

1. All the reasons why it's unlikely to be something bad. For example, it's been checked by a doctor, I've had it for x years/months so would be dead/very ill by now, it's rare, I have no other symptoms, am the wrong age/sex etc etc. This list is usually way longer than number 1 which reassures me temporarily before I start the same cycle again.

It's as though worrying stops the worst from happening and I won't be safe if I stop. This is of course ridiculous as all the worrying in the world won't change the outcome so why not stop and save it until I actually have something to worry about. Easier said than done!

I would hate to get to my 80s when I'm perhaps not in the best health and regret wasting so many years of my life worrying about things that never happened. I have made a list of 22 health issues (so far!) that I've worried about over the last few years and so far not one of them has turned out to be anything to worry about! Arghhhh!

Anyone else identify with this?

Yes I had exactly this- with therapy and medication I am pretty much over it and able to live a normal’ life. Please seek help you will be so glad you did.

I did have CBT just over a year ago which helped a bit but I've gradually slid back. Had to stop sertraline as it put me in a&e with bruising (terrifying until they confirmed why) so scared to try anything else.

Also, when I had CBT gave me the following analogy which makes sense:

Every day a man would stand by the railway tracks waving his arms wildly. One day he was asked why he did this. He replied, "to stop the elephants from coming onto the tracks"
"But there aren't any elephants?!?"
He replied "it's because I wave."

So, the elephants would obviously not come even if he stopped waving (same as worrying!) which I know is true.

She also told me to have days where I refused to worry, and days when I was allowed to *worry on & worry off days) easier said than done! I'd recently had loads of clear tests just as I started CBT so found that exercise ok at the time, today not so much.

When did this start? Finding the when and why of the root cause is the best way to resolving it. Yes, there are tips and strategies which can help but they are, at best, papering over the cracks.

10 years ago with some abnormal bleeding which turned out to be fibroids but the whole experience thinking I might have cancer was terrifying. I was then relatively ok for a few years before Covid hit but then became traumatised by stories of people having serious illnesses diagnosed too late as they couldn't see a doctor face to face. Then my routine mammogram was cancelled and I spiralled!

What hasn't helped is that I've been the victim of a few mistakes and indicidental findings (blood tests that couldn't be processed, being sent for a scan intended for someone else, blood in urine when in a&e, distorted tissue on a mammogram caused by them not checking the skin wasn't overlapping as they squished my breast into the scanner). Then of course the Sertraline that was meant to be helping me landed me in a&e! Obviously, if I didn't have HA I wouldn't have been having most of those tests or been on Sertraline! My dentist also put me on a 2ww for a lump in my mouth which turned out to be nothing. I'm also in perimenopuse and being in my 50s (so called sniper alley) makes me increasingly more likely to develop serious illness. This year I had routine breast, bowel & cervical cancer screening (a good thing that it's offered). Got the all clear from all 3 but having the tests caused so much anxiety as I waited for results.

Because of all the above, I get terribly anxious about seeking medical help and avoid if I can. I even get nervous about the dentist and optician in case they spot something, especially after the lump in mouth incident, and now really have to pluck up courage to go. I'm also currently awaiting an ultrasound to check the status of my fibroids - more stress!

Ironically, apart from fibroids, I've never been diagnosed with anything and am very fit and healthy, despite my list of 22 issues, especially when compared to many of my peers. I also get anxious about my kid's health but that's another story.

I wish I could just turn the worry off but I can't ☹️

Ah, but you can...

What's happened here is that there's a part of your subconscious mind which is on high alert and is constantly scanning for any possible sign of illness and, as soon as it finds anything which might be a threat, it starts shrieking to get your attention. Think of Corporal Jones in Dad's Army..."don't panic, don't PANIC!" Of course that sets off a change reaction which is only temporarily placated by being tested. This part of your mind isn't trying to hurt you or drive you mad, on the contrary it thinks it's doing the right thing in protecting you but it is going waaaaay over the top.

Was your mum, grandma or any other significant adult a worrier or pessimistic? There's often a pattern which starts in childhood, when you don't have the ability to question what you're learning (or absorbing) is true or objectively correct.

Hi,
i completely feel you. I’ve had severe health anxiety for many years. It’s manifested now into obsessive intrusive thoughts and many rituals. So now I have OCD too. It’s debilitating at times. It’s taken over my life. I don’t really have any advice to give but just know your not alone.

Where's the edit button gone?

Was your mum, grandma or any other significant adult a worrier or pessimistic? There's often a pattern which starts in childhood, when you don't have the ability to question what you're learning (or absorbing) is true or objectively correct.

Weirdly, the complete opposite! My parents and siblings were/are the most chilled happy go lucky people ever. Yet I've always been a worrier, long before I had HA. God knows where I came from!

Having a health scare is awful - i had a positive mammogram - it's very hard to tell yourself it will be fine when you know it might not. It turned out to be relatively easily treatable but the waiting was torture as I wouldn't know until op and result how serious it was. 4 wk wait for op. That's the bit that haunts me a little still. But I am in my 60s and many people my age are having ops /treatment etc. I'm one of the lucky ones.

@Worridoncemore . Sounds like a type of health related OCD. I've had OCD for years. Not specifically health related but I've come across a lot of people who struggle with this. @Eyesopenwideawake is right that it's your brain trying to protect you. I think our primitive brain and the modern world don't necessarily mix well.
I would suggest looking at OCD UK or OCD Action websites and type in health anxiety specifically.
You'll be surprised how many people think like this.

That's interesting. Maybe it was great auntie Maud*?!!

But if you've "always been a worrier" it makes sense that you were 'terrified' with that initial fibroid bleeding, rather than concerned.

Have a look at my AMA on remedial hypnosis - I think it will make sense to you.

*Fictional!

You sound exactly like me, I'm 38 and go through exactly the same cycle. I also have fibroids and ended up on the 2ww because of them (before they knew they were fibroids). Was anemic, so had to have the stool FIT test, all clear...it just sends me into a spiral like you and I repeat it all the next day.

I didn't find CBT particularly helpful, I do take escitalopram which does help to a point.

I've started reading a book called Ten Times Calmer Beat Anxiety and Change Your Life by Dr Kirren Schnack which I would recommend, it has some helpful stuff in but it's so hard to put it into practice when your head is whirring and refuses to shut up

You've been so brave with all of the tests/investigations you've been through. I am the same, I avoid medical situations as I'm worried about what they might find which I know I shouldn't do

Sending you a big hug and letting you know you're not alone

Yep. I've definitely been left traumatised by my scares, making me very wary of seeking medical help now.

Thank you will have a look.

Yep. I'm sure I have OCD with all the checking behaviour.

Thank you. Will do.

I've been dealing with the fibroids for 10 years, have had 3 lots of surgery and lots of scans. I now need to have another one due to a return of symptoms and while the likelihood is it'll be just fibroids once again, it's the what if that scares me.

Having tests is bad enough but all the mistakes/incidental findings sent me over over the edge!

I’m prone to HE. Mine was triggered by a pregnancy loss and a family bereavement at the same time. It’s also massively worse when I am stressed. Things that work for me are:

1. resisting the urge to check / google symptoms. This massively helped me recently when I found a lump. I limited myself to checking once a day, booked a GP appointment and said ‘stop’ to myself every time I started to catastrophize or check more times. Every time you check for symptoms you are reinforcing the fear! My lump was fine and I had avoided weeks of torturing myself….

2. meditate! Learn to separate your thoughts from ‘you’. It sounds whacky but your thoughts aren’t real. If you can learn to ‘watch them’ rather than cling on to them then they will have less power over you.

3. reduce stress / exercise etc.

HE is the worst but if you get some help and learn about how your brain works you can start to gather some tools and each episode will be less all consuming.

good luck!!! Xx

This really resonates with me. Also needing help.

This makes total sense to me 😔

Health anxiety is awful 💐

This of course makes perfect sense. When I had CBT I did manage to stop googling & visiting health forums for a while. I cleared all my cookies so I wasn't shown all the tragic shock cancer diagnosis stories and it did really help. Unfortunately I slipped back over time. While googling symptoms can occasionally bring reassurance, more often it makes you more anxious as it tends to show the worst case scenario. I discovered illnesses & symptoms I didn't know existed thanks to Google & forums and of course then decided I had them!

I have bad health anxiety. I have since I was very young. I saw my grandad poorly then eventually die and I wasn’t protected from any of it. This followed by other family deaths and mostly unhappy childhood has definitely contributed.

most of my imaginary illnesses came to nothing and in fact there weren’t any real symptoms either looking back. What has made me struggle more this passed year is an actual issue with symptoms.

I noticed a small amount of discharge from my breast just over a year ago. Saw the nurse, she referred me to find out what it was but she said she was 99% sure it was nothing to worry about. I was in a constant state of panic for 3 weeks until I went to the breast clinic. Had an ultrasound which diagnosed ductal ectasia. Completely benign, consultant said that I could have the ducts removed if I wanted but because it wasn’t causing a massive issue to me he wouldn’t advise it as I was only 30. Assured me this wouldn’t progress into anything either but if the symptoms were effecting my everyday life I could have them removed.

fast forward to now just over a year later and I panic about it constantly. They must have missed something etc. constantly worried about it which makes everything worse

I honestly don’t have any advice on how to get out of the cycle but know that you’re not alone

This is me! Started getting worse after the birth of my eldest I was always worried in case anything happened to me.
It feels like I'm tuned in to my body and any little unexplained ache, pain or niggle is something bad. But I know most of it is anxiety and I bring it on myself but I still can't help worrying, I get myself in such a panicked state.
My doctor actually told me to stop googling because I was making myself ill.
It's something I can't control, I'm an overthinker anyway which doesn't help