it's my birthday today and I am feeling very sad. for various reasons i seem to have pushed away anyone near or dear to me. i have a family of my own but not really close to husband, i get on ok with one of my DC but that can be changeable, the other one really seems to dislike me, even though only 11. I feel like I tried my absolute best to be a good mum but totally failed, and I can't really see the point of carrying on any more, apart from not causing upset. i used to be a friendly and caring person but for various reasons have just got ground down and am now pretty hostile and isolated.