Hi.
I’m a single mum to my DD (18mnths) her dad has no involvement due to DV.
I’ve struggled with my mental health for most of my life. I go through periods of extreme depression and there’s no way of telling how long they’ll last, neither are they particularly triggered by anything. The only thing that makes me genuinely smile is DD. I’ve never found the answer to what’s ‘wrong’ with me but doctors usually just say depression/anxiety. Over the years I’ve tried various antidepressants which have either made things worse, side effects were unbearable or just haven’t worked.
I’d been prescribed venlafaxine & diazepam about a week before finding out I was pregnant, I stopped both a day or so later cold turkey.
I did struggle with my mental health during pregnancy and had post partum depression involving intrusive and suicidal thoughts. It did get better but never went away completely. I never sought help for it for the same reason I haven’t yet sought help now. I’m depressed again and it’s affecting my parenting. I struggle to leave the house or get dressed most days and the guilt that I’m failing DD is overwhelming. I’m too ashamed to talk to family, my mum isn’t the most sympathetic person at the best of times anyway. I only have one friend and I haven’t seen her for months, she has her own problems going on.
I haven’t sought help because I’m terrified of the side effects. I can’t afford to ‘get worse before it gets better’. I can’t miss work, I can’t palm DD off to someone else if things get bad, and I can’t gain weight because it makes my PCOS symptoms worse. As it is I’ve put on half a stone since this recent depression flared up again and I haven’t had a period for 3 months, not pregnant.
I’ve finally bit the bullet and booked a doctors appointment, but only stated it was for my missed periods. I can’t go on the pill to regulate my hormones because it makes me suicidal too. If I have the guts to mention my mental health to the GP, will they make me book a separate appointment or help me during this one as it could technically be tied in with my PCOS? Should I try venlafaxine again to see if it works?
Sorry for the long post, I don’t really know what I’m looking for by posting it but I don’t feel I can speak to anyone else.