Health anxiety back again - has anyone found anything that helps?

[Bigmousestrikesagain]

I’ve struggled with health anxiety for most of my life ( basically since i was in a serious car crash at 18). Like many it became worse when I had children, and then worse again when I became a single parent following divorce and one my DC has SEN.

Id sort of got on top of it for quite a while but the last month it seems like it has wooshed back. In some ways it’s not surprising as I have had a bad year health wise ( haemorraghed and ended up in resus and two major operations). The year before my sister was also diagnosed with breast cancer at 40 and as a result due to family history I was diagnosed as medium/high risk myself.

I can feel it starting to get out of control again. I’m feeling really anxious today I think because of the news about the preventative drug for breast cancer being in the news. It is always focussed on cancer and absolute fear of dying and leaving my children. It’s like in my head im just waiting to get it.

I do everything I can re my risk (annual mammograms, try to exercise and keep weight down, don’t drink - although my breasts are very difficult to check myself).

I really really hate it. For a start it feels totally self indulgent when there are many people dealing with actually having cancer and here I am at the moment totally fine! And just generally I hate being this person. Also the logical part of me knows worrying about it achieves absolutely nothing.

I’ve tried various therapies over the years. Nothing seems to work long term. Has anyone found anything that works?

I'm prescribed Propranolol as and when I need it for anxiety. I also found a book called 'Dare' by Barry Mcdonagh really helpful in helping my overthinking mind rationalise and prevent my feelings escalating into a panic attack. Worth a read and you can skip to chapters you feel are relevant to your needs. I often dip back into it when I'm struggling. Hope you start to feel better soon.

Have you tried a trauma focussed therapy? I ask because my DD has had multiple attempts at CBT and person centred therapy, but we’ve paid for her to have sessions with a clinical psychologist who has a PTSD specialist interest and she’s made a huge difference to DD.

In the meantime I second propranolol to help with the physical feelings of anxiety and really work on telling yourself that you get to choose if you believe those thoughts and then work on reframing the thought. Give yourself permission to be concerned but then take the control back.

I suffer from health anxiety & really struggling at the moment as I have a few long term health problems with another one in the process of diagnosis

I have found the Headspace app really quite helpful, there is a free version & even this is helpful

Mine is most terrible when I'm not busy enough. When I'm at work and racing about I don't have a single issue beyond perhaps washing my hands slightly more frequently than another person might. When it's the holidays (I work in a school) and I'm home 'relaxing' it will come back full force.

Also recommend Ten to Zen by Owen O'Kane.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Ten-Zen-Minutes-Calmer-Happier/dp/1509893679

I have health anxiety. I know why i have it and I know its irrational but it doesnt stop the thoughts. I spiralled 3 months ago and ended up on 10mg of ciltropram which has been a game changer in giving me the strength to tackle it and at least start to calm my thoughts. A big part of that is letting them just pass through and changing the wording. Like if I think I'm going to get a brain tumor because my dad had one I try and say 'oh I'm having that thought again, thank you brain for making me alert but we don't need to worry about this now,' sounds bonkers but it really helps. Also I find I beat myself up about the thoughts and not being able to control them so trying to show myself some self compassion. Like if I start thinking about health and death I say to myself it's understandable you worry about these things you have lost people and that's hard and scary but it doesn't mean its going to be my story and I do my best to try and make sure I can lessen my chances of getting it...

Sorry big ramble! Sounds bit funny but slowly it's working to help me step outside my thoughts. Just because I think it doesn't make it true..

Also this book is good https://www.amazon.co.uk/your-orders/pop/ref=ppx_yo_mob_b_d_pop?_encoding=UTF8&gen=canonical&lineItemId=42054216337171&orderId=D01-8053141-1125460

Thanks very much to everyone for responding.

I Will definitely give the books a try. I think I may actually still have some Propranolol in from last time. I always feel I should be able to cope. But maybe part of this is recognising sometimes I do need medication.

@BabbleBee - this is something I think I should look into. I was actually diagnosed with PTSD after my car crash but back then no help was offered. I feel like the nearly dying from haemorraghing on my own in hospital experience feels like it’s had a trauma impact on me. Or re awakened the trauma again? CBT and person centred I’ve tried many times, I feel like I sort of can’t stop myself saying the ‘right’ things and sayings it’s worked when it really hasn’t. It’s as if my brain ‘swerves’ it.

Thank you @Raaraaaaa9 - this makes sense to me. I think this is partly my issue, I’ve had quite a lot of ‘bad’ things happen to me so in a way I guess the anxiety isn’t even totally irrational .. The link doesn’t seem to work, if you could give the title I’d be very grateful!

Rewire Your Anxious Brain: How to Use the Neuroscience of Fear to End Anxiety, Panic, and Worry

Also I had edmr after an upsetting trauma which really help process things and fears and feelings I hadn't thought i felt. My health anxiety is a spill over from that time and has almost become my go to when I find things in life hard or I get tired which I am working in recognising that.

This is how I also feel about it. Like I default to it when stressed in any other way - and then everything feeds on each other.

I don’t have anything to make it go away, but try two DBT techniques: distract (consciously do something else while being in the moment with it) and check the facts (exactly what it sounds like). I’ve always found the “worry doesn’t get you anywhere” line really unhelpful because you know it but those anxiety thoughts still sneak up on you!

Thanks again everyone.

I think I just feel so frustrated that it has come back as I’d had a really good period without it ( possibly because health things were actually happening so I had to concentrate on them!). It’s just such a waste of life being anxious like this. Although you’d have thought given it always comes back I’d have learnt by now 😁

A big part of that is letting them just pass through and changing the wording. Like if I think I'm going to get a brain tumor because my dad had one I try and say 'oh I'm having that thought again, thank you brain for making me alert but we don't need to worry about this now,' sounds bonkers but it really helps

Lesley Garner in her book 'Everything I've Ever Done that Works' recommends much the same thing. She learned from a Buddhist teacher to treat emotions as forces that work through you like weather systems. His recommendation for those anxious thoughts that paralyse you was to identify the feeling - and repeat 'Feelings of <emotion/feeling> are passing through me' for however long it takes to activate the parasympathetic system. It forces a gap between you and the feelings so you realise they are passing and will pass.

I do the same as you. 'I'll feel better tomorrow' is my favourite and I usually do.

Sympathies, OP. Anxiety is a bitch.

Maybe you need to be patient with yourself about the anxiety, OP. MH ebbs and flows and it’s a much bigger waste of time to be frustrated that you’re having a bad patch than you are because of the bad patch, if that makes any sense. Being cross with yourself for worrying isn’t going to make anything better either, but you have a better chance of controlling that.

Yeah, I agree with that. I try to think 'oh here we are again, it'll go and I'll feel better.' What annoys me is that there are usually no obvious triggers for my anxiety.

DD became quite proficient at her counselling and knowing what was the ‘right’ thing to say. Since being at uni they’ve suggested she might also be neurodiverse and this would explain her ability to mask her feelings so well and conform with the expectations of the counsellor. The CP has been much better and communicates with her in a way that masking isn’t required.

That’s very interesting. I’ve never thought of it as masking but I guess it is. As mentioned my DS is ND ( predominantly adhd and anxiety but also possible ASD). I don’t think I’m ND but I strongly suspect both my mother and sibling are ( my dad had adhd). I was brought up very strongly believing I must be ‘good’ and ‘conform’ ( my mother always had anxiety around what others thought) and that unlike my sister and her I was inherently a selfish person. It’s only now in late 40s that I feel like I could finally voice ‘bad’ thoughts i have.

It’s so great your daughter is discovering this and getting help relatively young. I hope it gives her the tools she needs to live a life where anxiety doenst dominate.

It’s as if my brain ‘swerves’ it.

Also the logical part of me knows worrying about it achieves absolutely nothing.

It's your mind rather than your brain. Your subconscious's primary function is to keep you happy and safe but that can be parts of the subconscious that are not being particularly helpful* when it comes to your health concerns. As you say your logical mind is doing, and knowing, all the right things to keep you healthy so it's a matter of connecting to, and reassuring, the subconscious that you are the adult in the room and you are in charge.

Have a look at my AMA on remedial hypnosis - it might be of interest. All types of anxiety respond well (and permanently) to RH as it addresses the problem at the source.

*AKA running around your head like Corporal Jones in Dad's Army shrieking "don't PANC!"

@Raaraaaaa9 that sounds like a really helpful technique to try

Thanks @Eyesopenwideawake - will defo take a look at remedial hypnosis