anxiety sending me insane

[greenthumbb]

hiya, im just typing away really, I feel like im losing my mind a bit. over a year ago i went out for a couple of drinks with my friend , both got quite tipsy and bumped into a friend at a small party. we all ended up chatting away and having a good time and he mentioned me coming back to his house. i was drunk and i thought he meant a few of us for more drinks, and so I said okay.

i then realised what he meant about 5 mins later and said that I was not going round as I have a dp. that was that and I didn’t talk to him again. i feel so sick though. i never mentioned it to my dp and I’ve started thinking over and over about the event so much. i know it’s so silly, but i feel like such an evil person :(
my anxiety is just through the roof I know it’s just really silly

Why do you feel like an evil person when you did nothing wrong? You thought it was an invite for lots of people, realised it wasn't then declined.

Is your DP abusive type who would get mad at this kind of thing even though you did nothing wrong?

What else is going on in your life to make you give so much attention to something that didn't happen - a non event?

I’m just such an anxious person . I don’t know why the memory has resurfaced all of a sudden

Was your mum or someone else significant in your childhood a worrier?

It's called real event OCD. Don't engage with the thought as every time you go over it and look for reassurance (this is the compulsion element) it strengthens the thought

I agree, try not to engage with it, it sounds like you are trying to beat yourself up over a non event. I would probably imagine that as straightforward as it is for us to say that, it isn't as easy for you to let it go so there is probably other stuff going on for you here, but this is a total non event OP. Imagine sitting down with your DP and relaying this story and there being no actual punch line. You went out, had a few drinks with friends, had a lovely time, and then made a choice for the sake of your current relationship. All good here. Take care.

This. Just soothe yourself as needed, and try not to engage with the thought- imagine the thought is a leaf on a river, and let it just sail into your head and out again like a leaf passing you by.