Fear of losing my mum ..

[TayahH]

My mum is 82 with a diagnosis of heart failure. My dad has dementia and went in a care home 18 months ago now, so mum is living on her own. I’m married but feel lonely within my marriage and our adult daughter (25) has ASD/ADHD and whilst she’s getting her life more sorted I feel as if mine is falling apart.
I see my mum over the weekend as we both enjoy a bit of time out and a coffee and I dread the day when she won’t be here. It literally scares me to death. We’re close and I do help her a lot which I certainly don’t mind, but my worry is how it will affect my mental health when one day she won’t be here. I work with no colleagues as such and have very few friends, more acquaintances if I’m honest.
Every Sunday night I worry I won’t see her again, how do I deal with these feelings? Thanks for listening.

It won't be easy but you will cope, just as you've coped with everything else in your life so far. What might help is talking to your mum about your fears and asking how she coped with the losses in her own life. How old was she when her parents died - do you remember your grandparents deaths?

Have you thought about doing something practical, like asking her to tell you as much as she can about her life (you might need some prompts based on things you already know like "can you describe the house you grew up in?" or similar), and recording her telling you all of it, so you can write it into a family history, and also feel close to her in the future by playing it back? I had this idea before my dad died and I really wish I'd been able to do it but he went too quickly.