To feel useless

[Sophie89j]

I’ve just stopped crying, I’ve been low lately and tonight I feel especially down. It’s probably exhaustion/burn out playing with my mental stability.
I currently feel as if everyone around me deserves better and I’m a shit mum. I’ve just text one of those helplines but it’s been 20 mins and no reply.
Right now I honest to god feel as if my partner and my children all deserve a better mother/person. I feel as I’m failing them and the clients I support through work. I feel like a fraud and I have no idea how I’ve managed to keep my children alive for as long as I have and keep it all together.
Not to drip feed but I’ve a high stress job, client based and my fuck up can result in their lives being impacted. I’ve had a stressful two years with deaths, near deaths, family members death deterioration, a horrendous pregnancy which resulted in my beautiful 3rd baby, financial difficulties and work knockbacks.
I just feel everyone in my life deserves more than I can and am currently giving them and I don’t know what to do.

I am so sorry I couldn't read and run

Being honest, I'm shit at advice so I just wanted to say your family would be lost without you. As you say you don't know how you've kept them alive for so long, what would they do without your
You're having a wobble at the moment but things will be ok and will get better. You're in a very stressful time of your life at the moment and need to give yourself a break and not be so hard on yourself

Do you think you could call your go on Monday and talk through how you are feeling? They may suggest short term anti depressants to help you get through. They have been a life saver for me many time

Hope you are ok xx

First thing you need to do is talk. Wake your parner up and show them what you have written here. Second get signed off work for a while after speaking to your GP.
This will pass, I can honestly tell you this. What will not pass is the pain your loved ones will feel if you leave them.

OP you are not alone. I struggle too.

I've learned that feelings aren't reality. Just because we feel something, it doesn't mean to say its true.

I'm not taking away or minimising how you feel, just trying to say in a clumsy way that it's highly unlikely that you are useless and anything other than 100% loved, wanted, needed.

x