So, one of my friends has struggled with anorexia for around 20 years. During that time, she has had lots of ups and downs - periods in hospital, periods of progress, periods where things have seemed 'static'. She was always able to make progress when she had specific personal goals eg. preparing for a wedding, having a baby, holidays - anything that was a goal was an incentive and she was very driven.
Now, she has a DH and 2 DDs and outwardly seems happy - she goes out and about, she works part-time, obviously she doesn't want to talk about the ED endlessly and I don't bring anything up unless it's relevant. Her DH has made a real effort to educate himself about anorexia and supports the meal planning, does the cooking etc and attends lots of appointments.
Over the past year, she has been looking very unwell - worse and worse each time I've seen her, with visible weight loss on her face. I tried to ask how things were and if she was struggling with the children or something and she just said "I have nothing to look forward to". We couldn't think of any more "goals" in terms of material things or achievements, no incentives. She has stopped complying with meal plans and is scared of going back into hospital. I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm just uselessly saying all the wrong things.