Will this ever get better?

[Bloodoranges85]

I am approaching crisis, where I sort of oscillate back and forth from, and I’m very very over it.
I am ruining my relationships because who wants to have a relationship or friendship with someone who is so low in mood. It’s a big demand on them when there’s no end in sight.
I am here for other people. I can’t see how it improves from here on in. I feel very trapped because I don’t really want to kill myself but when the other option is feeling like this for another three decades I feel panicky because feeling like this is absolutely unbearable.

I think you need to see your doctor and show them what you've written here as a starting point. If that feels too much then the Samaritans are there for you, night and day.

This sounds incredibly hard for you but the answer is yes it will get better. Good advice to see your doctor and also if possible let someone close to you know how you’re feeling.