I'm feeling so overwhelmed with life right now

[Justbreeeeathe]

And I'm not sure how to make things better, short of selling the kids, winning the lottery and quitting my job!

I wasn't sure where to post, or if to post at all, but I'm just feeling so overwhelmed and today it's gotten too much, I burst in tears doing the dishes and have been on and off crying ever since.

I've been on annual leave since Wednesday last week, I have been really looking forward to it as a chance to de-stress and unwind from work, yet I'm feeling more stressed than ever. The kids are off for half term this week so last week was meant to be a chance to unwind but I spent most of that time catching up on housework. I feel so stressed, it's like a physical sensation of not being able to breathe, constant pressure on my chest and feeling so overwhelmed.

MIL came round yesterday for a coffee and when I mentioned I was off all week because of the school holiday, she said "I feel sorry for you having to put up with this all week, but not sorry enough to offer to help". I know this was meant as a joke, but we have literally no family help at all, we don't have family that will ask to have the kids, offer to have them for tea or watch them so we can go out by ourselves, so this really stung.

DH is amazing and does more than his fair share, but I just feel like I'm failing at life right now. There isn't really a point to this post, I suppose I'd just like to hear from other people who feel the same way, or have felt the same way and know that it will get better.

How many children do you have, OP, and what ages?

For sure child-rearing can have particularly challenging phases, but the good thing is that they never last forever and are always changing (eventually for the better!)

This, too, shall pass...

It might help to write down the top 5 things that are stressing you out, and 2 things that would make each of them a bit better/easier/more manageable; then work on implementing one of those things each week (or more if you can manage).

Sometimes actualising specific stressors can help to reduce an overwhelming general sense of stress.

HTH. Hugs.

Thank you so much for your reply @HBGKC it means a lot!

They are 10 and 6, good kids and I'm so lucky to have them but like most kids they bicker a lot, make lots of mess and seem to leave a trail of destruction in their wake. It's just so exhausting having to do everything for everyone else and god the fighting and whining is awful! The youngest came into the bedroom when I was trying to hoover because the oldest had said something to upset them and I just thought "I don't care, leave me alone!"

I'll do as you suggest, hopefully it will make it seem more manageable having it written down.

So sorry you’re having a rough time, OP. The only way out is through — one breath at time, one day at a time, and remembering that every day is a new day. Like HBGKC says — this too shall pass, just like the weather… although I appreciate it’s so hard to see this when you’re in the thick of it and it all seems grim/crap/hopeless.

I find box breathing really helpful to just chill me out and change my state in a positive way: box breathing

You’re not alone. Hugs

My kids are pretty much the same ages as yours and you have just described my life to a tea. Except my H is not amazing. He’s more like a particularly unlikeable third child.

We have absolutely no family help either.

No advice. I’m tearing my hair out with the mess, lack of help, being hated as a nag and resisted in all attempts to get them to help out in the house ( H included in this), the constant demands on my attention. It’s wearing to say the least.

Sometimes I think I’d run away except the guilt about my kids won’t let me!

No advice, but I hear you!

OP at 6 and 10, I'd be looking for a babysitter (a local A-level student would do) and start scheduling an evening out just you and DH, once a month if that's all you can afford time/money-wise, or fortnightly even better. Go for dinner then a walk somewhere nice/interesting, or to the cinema, or the pub... just to spend some child-free time together in a neutral environment that's not full of jobs/tidying/DIY everywhere you look.

Hi op
At 10 they can help you clean and even at 6 they can do little jobs.
Put their toys away at bed time.
We used to do the jobs and then it was play time.
Little treats as a reward for helping.
Lots of cuddles too and eye contact , take an real interest (even if you have to fake it a bit )
And don't be soft.
Firm but fair.
Tidy their rooms
Do their chores (dry pots , take clothes upstairs etc)