Anyone out there?

[anyoneoutthere1]

Not sure why I'm posting really. Just looking for a chat to pass a sleepless night I guess.
Husband is self employed (business not going well and hasn't been for a while, closing up at the end of the year due to this) and is trying to get through last of jobs on book. He has always struggled with mental health, getting worse in the autumn/winter. He's on the cusp of a full breakdown and I just don't know how to help. He has had counselling in the past which was great but we can't afford it right now and NHS waiting lists are so long. He says we can't afford for him to take time off to try and get a handle on his mental well-being, but I worry what will happen if he keeps going the way he is.

We have a 15 month old and I'm 15 weeks pregnant. I try and keep the stress away from our wee one but so worried it will start to rub off on them.
I work from home part time (also self employed) but we have no childcare/family near by which means we have to share the working week and juggle it ourselves.

I want my husband back, I want laughter in the house again. I wish I could make it better but I know I can't. I wish we had enough money to get through the next couple months comfortably.

Again not sure why I'm posting or what I'm expecting anyone to say. I guess I just needed to vent and I don't have anybody around me to talk to right now.

I don't want to say anything unhelpful. Wrap your arms around eachother. It is such a small thing but in the the dark of the night it can feel comforting x

@Unsuremuriel thank you for taking the time to respond.
Sadly he's gone to sleep (or lie awake in an anxiety attack) on the couch as our wee one is having a rough night with teething and all the crying was driving him to the edge. Feeling helpless

Does your husband take antidepressants? Has he spoken to the GP? Some practices have counsellors, it would be worth asking about that availability. I’m so sorry to hear about your troubles, you don’t sound so good yourself, so perhaps you should also speak to the GP. 💐

If you want to hear a voice have you considered calling Samaritans? Just talking things through can sometimes help. You don't want to add to your husband's worries so you're keeping everything inside. They have people answering calls 24/7, you don't have to be feeling desperate. Just knowing someone else is awake can be comforting.

All this shall pass. I know people say that, but it really does!
I've been in your DHs situation- business owner, dark thoughts. I went to GP, was prescribed anti- depressants, which really did help me think about where I wanted to be. 6 months later came off antidepressants, with a plan going forward. Now, everything is better. Still own the business, but less stressed. Mind you, it took a bit of an eye opening fight between DH and me before I could see I needed to get help, for the sake of my family. Its not easy, but even just seeking help was somehow a relief.
I really hope you and your DH can work this out. 💓