Just diagnosed with ADHD - now to start living!

[BreathingDeep]

At the ripe old age of late 40s, I have been diagnosed with combined ADHD and while I am reeling a little and trying to digest what it means, I'm also filled with a determination to start living my life fully and unapologetically for the first time ever.

I've realised that I've spent my entire life trying to be better in every possible way. Look better, work harder, achieve more, be more interesting, be a better friend/wife/mother. I've been in constant strive mode, and in recent years, have spent endless time and energy continually trying to fix myself, only to discover that actually, it wasn't my 'fault' that I found life so hard. This is one hell of a realisation, but also one that is finally allowing me to treat myself with some compassion rather than beating myself up to do even more.

I've opted for meds and am on my second week, and I'm already feeling so different. Whereas before, I felt defeated, overwhelmed, struggled to focus, apathetic, lethargic and flat, I now feel.. alive. I feel enthusiastic, positive and like I have some oomph and some power, and it's felt a LONG time since I've felt that.

As a result of this new vim and vigour, I am ready to really start living again. I want to say yes instead of no, and I've started by finally putting some self-care stuff into action. I'm eating and drinking better, thinking about nutrition rather than quick hits of sugar.

I've treated myself to a few new clothes, instead of living in the same old stuff ALL the time in a hope no-one will notice me. I want to embrace colour and style in a way I've not done for years. I've bought a lovely body wash so showering becomes less functional and more indulgent. I've made playlists for when I'm working so the environment is nicer. I've bought really delicious decaf coffee pods so I can still enjoy coffee while weaning myself off caffeine.

I want to keep adding to these things so I don't lose impetus, or when the tablets potentially become less powerful, so can anyone share any ideas on how I can keep the momentum going and what makes you feel good each day? And, for those glorious grown ups with late-diagnosis ADHD, how are you making life easier and better for you day to day?

Congratulations and commiserations I suppose! How long were you waiting for a diagnosis? Are you going through titration or are you stable on a medication?

Hi 4naans, I was exploring ADHD for my pre-teen daughter earlier this year when I realised all the symptoms I could see in her, I could also see I struggled with. When I discovered how dreadful the NHS waiting lists were, we took the hefty hit financially and booked private appointments for us both.

As for meds, I'm still going through titration and have a review at the weekend. Currently on 36mg, but expecting for it to rise.

Congratulations! I'm delighted for you that you've got a diagnosis and that medication is working well for you.

My daughter was diagnosed 3 years ago and it's made me realise that I almost certainly have ADHD too.

I was dx about 5 years ago, unmedicated now although I do find winter hard without meds. A high protein diet and strength training helps hugely- strength training increases the expression of BDNF growth factor in the brain responsible for memory and learning. A Mediterranean diet has been shown to be beneficial - healthy fats, for adhd. Also I find high protein was essential to curb sugar cravings, that was my downfall for years. I try to have about 45g protein by mid morning. Nutrition like you say is key in the management. I am more focused when I eat something every 2-3 hours. Simplify things. Automate things.

Love the colour thing - I had my colours done professionally and this was brilliant for adhd as I know my 8-10 best colours. Shopping is sooooo simple, I can discount most of the shop and go straight for things I know will suit me, everything in my wardrobe goes, I don't feel invisible and I get loads of comments, it makes me feel like I show more personality too rather than hiding. Even if it is just someone saying you look good in blue, or your phone case goes with your jumper. I love it.

Good luck, it is life changing.

I also got a personal trainer at the gym and have worked out consistently for 6 months. I'm doing better at that than most of my friends now, but it's not about that, it's about meeting what I need and making things stick.

All those tips about shower gel, playlists, are sooooo true too. It's like we can suddenly see what we need to do to make something more motivating.

That’s amazing. I recognise the way you describe how you used to feel. I am hoping to get assessed soon It has really affected my work and self esteem over the years I am intelligent but just can’t get things ‘ done’ without a struggle with

I feel like I obviously have it. I'm 53. Would an official dx serve me?. I will not take medication.
I was thinking earlier today how going to pilates beginners level not pushing myself I feel it helps. Although I'm always a bit behind interpretation "neutral spine" and so on

I have read that people with adhd can feel dread every morning of the obligations each day brings. Did you used to feel like that OP ? I often do

I feel the weight of what I have to do.

I love a day with no obligations, but I didn't associate that with my self dxd adhd. I have everything thing else. I listen to a hit song repeatedly if I love it. I haveva nervous energy habit (won't share, could be identifying) I overshare, I can't appear to have no reaction when I do, a million things that have made progression at work v v v difficult