I'm really struggling at the moment with thoughts of suicidal ideation.
It's passive in that I don't want to hurt myself but I'd quite like a hit man to quietly take me out.
I live with two chronic conditions (am able to work), have been through some loss and grief, and am dealing with feelings of shame and guilt around some things I've done in life.
I've completely come off of social media platforms (FB, instagram) because my mental health is in such a bad place.
I feel like i don't deserve to be here because of things I've done. I can't live with the pain. I wish I'd done some things differently but I don't know if I really would have.
I just want to go to sleep and not wake up.
I'm medicated and it does mostly help but I'm in a pit right now.
The world seems full of so much hate, anger and tragedy. Tbh it doesn't upset me when people talk about climate change because I feel relief that humans might not exist and don't really understand why that would be a bad thing overall.
Just hoping there is someone out there who might understand.