Mum acting odd

[treeoaklane]

Hi all, my mum lost her parents a few years ago and. I think the stress has made her loopy. But how can you get someone to see they aren't thinking straight.
She's literally hallucinating things. Accusing my dad of having an affair with the neighbour mind you he is 70! She's moving out the house. Saying he's sneaking and meeting up with her. He literally goes nowhere apart from the doctors or takes the dog for a walk.
He's had a heart attack due to the stress and tbh she couldn't give a crap. And still piling on this absolute nonsense.
I can see it in her eyes she has gone half mad on this story.
Its got to the point I can't even go round there without wincing at what ever she comes out with.
Earlier she was openly saying oh did you know you can track phones (dropping weird comments to make my dad look at her in a odd way) honestly she is convinced on this affair. This particular lady is young enough to be his daughter tbh.
I'm literally at raging point with her. I don't even know her anymore.
She thought she see spiders walking along the ceiling and when she mentioned it I googled it and it said can be a sign of mental health shall we say, she back tracked and said oh it was an actual real spider. No way it was.
I could honestly go on for ages about everything she says.

I walk out every time thinking Wtaf is going on ! It hurts even my head

There is a form of dementia, Lewy Body, that my friends mum unfortunately had. How you describe your mum sounds similar to how she was at the start, particularly the bit about the spiders/hallucinations. I’d try and get her to the GP if you can.
My friends mum was late 60’s when she was diagnosed.

She needs to see a GP. This could be caused by any number of physical or mental issues.

I thought it might of been menopause related maybe m. She went to the doctors and they did an mri and test but all she mentioned was arthritis to them. Not the fact I think she has lost her marbles l 🤦‍♀️

How long has this been going on?
I assume they checked for uti?

It's about a year and a half. I just think she said she's feeling stiff to the doctor m, She doesn't cope well of the thought of any issue she would rather bury her head In the sand.

I wouldn't say it's noticeable odd behaviour but her mindset is odd.

My dad thinks it's menopause imbalance and death related as it was a stressful time tbh. But he just keeps saying she's nuts. She needs help. I mean I don't know how he hasn't kicked her out she is literally haunting him with this bull all day every day

A GP won't discuss your mum's condition with you or your dad. However there is nothing to stop you making her GP aware of her odd behaviour. Then next time she sees her GP for something they will have this information on her file.

I would email her GP with the information you have given here, stress the impact it's having on your dad's health and then try and make up a reason for her to visit the GP. Perhaps say they want to follow up on her arthritis/do a well-woman check? Hopefully she well let you or your dad go with you to the appointment.

Oh I never knew I could do that! I think I will give the GP a call
Thankyou

Yes, contact the GP and give them the info - they might be able to invite her in for a wellness check or similar. Or if she's there anyway, they might be able to assess her. They just won't be able to tell you anything about it afterwards.

Your Mums symptoms could indicate serious problems. You sound unsupportive and u empathetic, I hope your Mum has someone advocating for her. Please get her referred for a brain scan, kidney issue or dementia. Lastly, do you honestly think men in their 70s don't have affairs...... Bloody hell.

Unsupportive?? Ok..

Oh come on. Give the op a break. She's clearly concerned about her mum and the impact on her dad or she wouldn't be seeking advice.

If you've no experience of dementia/mental illness it can be mind bogglingly difficult to come to terms with. Sadly my mum developed dementia (we think Lewy Body's) and my sister and I initially went through a period of feeling exasperated with her odd behaviour and kept trying to reason with her.

On the basis of a few sentences on Mumsnet you're in no position to speculate on how empathetic or otherwise the op might be.

Sorry you feel that way! Saying your Mums symptoms are "bull" and that she is literally "haunting" her partner doesn't sound very supportive. I am sorry OP if that was overly personal and harsh, I wish you all the best and hope you seek help for your Mother as she sounds ill.

Comments like that make me want to delete. I've merely given 5% of the story. And the judgement post in itself from this person is empathetic which is ironic...

@treeoaklane I do think the best thing to do is to let your Mum's GP know what is happening so she can be given the professional help she clearly needs.

It's not easy for you or your Dad. Have you siblings ?