How do I tackle this anxiety over DD driving (and DS in cars with friends)

[FlamingoStorm]

I wasn't quite sure where to put this but I'm guessing the anxiety I'm experiencing is a MH issue.

DD has been driving for a year or so and lives a few hours away so when she comes to visit or I know she's undertaking longer journeys I just get so anxious waiting for her to arrive, watching the clock, trying to work out what time she should arrive etc. I even start worrying in the days leading up to it sometimes but when I know she's actually driving and I'm waiting for the text to say she's arrived safely I can just feel my stomach in knots, can't settle.

I just worry so much about her being involved in an accident.

To some extent I get it when DS is out in friends cars (he doesn't drive yet) but generally they're not doing long distances. I hate to think what I'll be like when he's driving too.

How can I calm the fuck down and control this anxiety please?

Do you drive? Have you ever been in an accident, as a driver or as a passenger?

I do drive and have done for over 30 years but I'm becoming more nervous about it the older I get ie. rarely drive on motorways, hate night driving (will only do very local town driving at night).

I've had minor scrapes but that's all.

OK, so it's your driving that's causing the anxiety but you're projecting onto her. Control it (if you can) by casting your mind back to 30 years ago when you loved the freedom driving gave you, had no fear about your car or your abilities as a driver and think about all the memories and experiences that driving allowed to fulfil. That's where your daughter is right now.

I fully understand where you are coming from. I am exactly the same with DS.

@Eyesopenwideawake I can see where you're coming from and driving is enabling her to fulfill all sorts of experiences which is great .....but the anxiety just takes over when I know she's driving through strange cities/busy motorways/late at night....yep, all the situations I hate being in.

@catrescuelady do you find anything helps? How long has your son been driving and has your anxiety got worse or better over time?

@FlamingoStorm
He's been driving only a few months. He's at uni but doesn't take the car so luckily it's not a daily worry.
Nothing really helps until I know he's back at home. My friends son died in a car accident, I think that's why I am so nervous. I am hoping as time goes on the worry will lessen.

Oh gosh, your poor friend. I can see how that must affect how you feel.

It's also reminded me that 2 people I knew as a young adult died in (separate) car accidents so maybe that's in the back if my mind too.

@FlamingoStorm A couple of sessions of hypnotherapy/remedial hypnosis would be useful to help your subconscious mind understand that it's adding nothing useful or productive to your life by triggering these emotions.

Thank you @Eyesopenwideawake I'll look into it