Is debt worth getting sick over?

[Mummype]

I got myself into a mess 5 years ago..massive debt I hid from everyone and eventually made am attempt on my life. Now I've finally decided to face the debt and I feel all those same feelings I did 5 years ago. I also think I'm gonna face a to overpayment soon too. Part of me is saying to calm down and take it slow...get an iva and sort my debt. The to overpayment won't affect my credit file and il take a benefit reduction to repay and pay off with spare money. The other part of me is sick with worry...no sleep. Bad thoughts creeping in. Is debt worth dying over? I don't want to go to that bad place again and I refuse to but the fear won't go away. I have spoken to stepchange to get help but its still very triggering facing my mess. X

My BIL had an IVA, came out the other end. He is now very sensible with money and it hasn't had ongoing issues for him.
It absolutely isn't something worth harming yourself in any way.
None of his family live him any less or think any less of him.

Mummype, I can understand how you're feeling and I am so sorry things have felt so bad.

Like so many others have said, money is absolutely not more valuable than you and while the worry is huge, I can guarantee, soon it will feel a million times better. It's not going to go away overnight, but that gnawing, panic-inducing fear will go away the moment you have a plan in place.

There is no judgement here, just support and understanding. If you're still waiting to get this sorted, do you have any contact details so you can speed up the process? Don't struggle and suffer more than you have to - it's about to get so much better for you and your children.

Sending love and a hug - you've got this.

Thank-you for your lovely message...you know a times I really don't give debt a second thought...imagine all those babies in Palestine, people sick with cancer, losing loved ones, debt really is nothing compared to any of this. And then other times I'm in a total panic.

I have gave details to Stepchange regarding my debt and I'm waiting on an iva advisor. With the hmrc debt il just liase with them and come up with a payment plan.

There is another option and that would be sell our home clear all debts, live mortgage free and live in my husbands late grandmothers house which is lying empty and relatives are looking for someone to occupy so it doesn't go into disrepair. So I guess there is an option..my husband would love living back home again but I would have to move away from where I'm from although it's only 25 minutes away its just the upheaval for my kids.

OP, I admire you for taking control,of your situation. The steps you are taking now are helping you and your family towards a secure and stable life.

Does your DH earn? Is he involved with any of the debts?

Would you pay rent if you moved into grandmas house? A move might be a positive choice - the DC will adapt and by the sounds of it you'll have family closer.

OP this is absolutely not worth your precious, precious life. You have so much to live for. As others have suggested step change are absolutely fantastic and can work with you to get this sorted.

No..he works hard but I refuse to let anyone help with debts I created..I'm stubborn but they shouldn't have to pay.

We could pay rent or offer a lump sum from the sale towards a private sale. I might try and get a feel for husbands reaction to this