Feeling overwhelmed and guilty

[Threeunderthree22]

Hello everyone, just that really feeling quite overwhelmed with life at the moment. Looking for maybe some positive words of encouragement!

The past few years have been quite full on. To cut a long story short we were living away from family and friends through covid and lock down. We had our first child and found it difficult living so far away.
We made the decision to relocate leaving a larger affordable family home to a much smaller house to be closer to family where the area is more expensive to live. We still felt this was worth it at the time for support...fast forward through a very difficult twin pregnancy while we were moving. I was very ill the whole pregnancy ended up having an ovarian torsion and my ovary removed. But was blessed with two healthy babies.
Safe to say 2 newborns and a just turned 2 year old was very full on. 6 weeks after birth I also ended up being diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis which has been a journey in itself.
The twins are now one years old and the house is feeling even more small. Yet with the cost of living I'm not sure we can move anytime soon. I am currently also a sahm, which although I really love spending time with my children. I so miss working and just having a little something for myself. I just don't know how I can get back into work as my husband works a lot and away fairly regularly. We don't have as much family support as I was maybe hoping for as my parents are still working, and child care for three is just not something we can afford.

Sooo I'm just looking for any tips on how I can keep my mental health sharp as I can feel myself feeling low a lot of the time, being stuck in the house. I struggle to get out by myself with the three children especially because I feel so up and down with the arthritis. I feel myself being snappy a lot with my husband over nothing. The condition and medication makes me feel sick and fatigued a lot of the time.
I just feel like I lost myself a little along the way. I used to be so driven and motivated.
Life just seems to be chaotic all the time and yet I don't want to not enjoy it or the time with my children. Think I just need to be more positive!

Psoriatic arthritis is really hard. Is it really work specifically that you’re craving? Do you need the money? I wonder if you’d be better trying to seek out some local mother and baby group sort of things with the kids first just to get out of the house and meeting people without any real pressure (it’s not the end of the world if you miss rhyme time at the library one week because you’re having a bad day for example!). And maybe see if you can get a family member to babysit occasionally so you can go and do something you’d enjoy with your husband or with a friend etc.

It’s a lot having 3 kids that age and psoriatic arthritis on top as well as having just moved house and your husband not being around much so be kind to yourself! I think you sound like you’re judging yourself very harshly. Baby steps is my advice! Make some small doable changes and build on them gradually.

OP that sounds an enormous amount to have gone through in the last few years. I am not surprised you’ve been left feeling exhausted and drained by it all!

It must feel such a slog to get out of the house but it must be key to getting yourself feeling better. Try and do some of the classes that get you being with others.

Will your older child start to get some free childcare hours soon? It might help to get into a playgroup routine of dropping them off and doing something with the twins.

Even if family can’t help during the working week if they are close to you now can you try and get them to have a regular time slot where they take the kids so you can do something for you? E.g Tuesday evening you go to the gym and grandparents come over