Intrusive thought I can't shake

[Mummabear10032021]

Hey,

This might sound crazy. But today I was on prime and I came across the jamie bulger documentary. I am literally traumatised after it. Don't know why I kept watching it but curiosity got the better of me. I have been crying thinking about that little boy as I have a boy the exact same age. Every time I look at my own boy I think about how it happened and was he crying and screaming and looking for his mammy 😢 I feel sick to my stomach. I know it's possibly a form of "intrusive thoughts" as I have suffered with these before but I just can't get it out of my head 😭 has anyone got any little tips to help me please.

This is 100% an intrusive thought. It is bothering you so much because it repulses you so much and you can't imagine how you could even think about that.

I promise you it's not a real thought. Unfortunately I've found I just have to wait for it to naturally go again. It's so difficult. I've suffered from intrusive thoughts from my ocd for as long as I can remember.

It's not real x

I think it's a pretty normal reaction op. I was a teenager at the time and the case is etched into my memory, as it was so utterly horrific. I would try to distract yourself with something that is completely frivolous or mundane.

Your brain has jumped into protection mode....try to see your brain as an overprotective relative who loves you and is trying to protect you by telling you scary "what if.." stories. Ibdeal with this by taking a deep breath, smiling and literally talking to my brain. I say "thanks for looking out for me and my kids. We're all safe" and then I do something multisensory, put the radio on whilst I load the washing machine or do the dishes whilst watching Netflix on my phone.

When the thought reappears... I repeat the process until my amygdala gets the message.

@ivfhelp @jlpth thanks so much for the quick reply. I really am trying to forget about it and not think about it but it's so hard being with my boy all day and he is the exact same age jamie was. 😭 it's an awful story and i learned too many details from that documentary that are sticking in my head, which is actually what happened so it's so hard to just think of it as a thought 😢Hopefully I can forget soon. Why am I like this 😩

@Mummabear10032021

It is awful but your reaction really is the right reaction of repulse/disgust.

@Phonedown ideas are good - distract as much as possible and your brain will eventually quiet.

@phonedown thank you that's a good tip. Always so much worse at night too I suppose when I have not got much to distract me and my partner is asleep beside me.

When I had obtrusive thoughts I learned the worst thing to do was to fight with them. During the day it is easier to bring your cortisol levels down. But at night some of the things that helped me were listening to audiobooks - I developed a habit of listening to comedian autobiographies. They tend to be fairly light-hearted and uncontroversial and they dont generally have exciting plots that will keep you awake. They were a good diversion and I listened to them on earphones so didn't disturb my sleeping partner.

I also practiced calming visualizations at night. You can get some on YouTube.

I watched a half hour thing about that where it was actors acting out the interviews that the kids would have had. Blimey it was awful, all credit to the little actors though they were amazing. I agree, really made me sick, just so hard to comprehend.

Just try to unpersonalise it, I know that's not a word, but literally immense suffering happens all of the time, its impossible to care about it all. It's not useful for you you to care about it tbh. Look after your own family and do what you can.