Is it always wrong to self isolate?

[AirGapped]

My mood is some way along on its seasonal trajectory downward and I see the classic behavioural markers such as ignoring texts, not returning calls, dreading my daily walks. I feel so powerless to intervene on my own behalf that I’m wondering if I should just accept the situation for what it is?

I’m making time and energy available for my family for mutual support and also to keep myself in work, but nothing else.

Usually I force myself to socialise more in the belief that it’s better than quietly being alone. But is it always so bad to let your world shrink? Does anyone relate?

Do you live alone? Children?

You are working

and making time for family

doesn’t seem like isolating to me. Just taking a step back from socialising.

I would keep up the fresh air though

Following, as I do this too and don't have an answer.

I live alone, with pets who force me outdoors twice daily for exercise and a little social interaction but work from home as a freelancer with little to no contact with anyone from work.

I have adult children and grandchildren and speak or exchange texts with each of them every day.

Me too, always around Halloween. Props to you for keeping up with your walks - I’m really trying to do that but it’s not easy when you just want to hunker under a blanket

Thanks for the reassurance, it’s hard to find a protective balance sometimes.

I don't think this sounds negative at all. You speak of socializing by using the word force so to me it just seems like you are making time for things that are important to you.

I got out of an awful relationship about 3 years ago. I used to be lively and social before that relationship. When I left isolated myself. My quality of life was stolen it felt/feels like. Now, I struggle to go into stores. If I make it inside of a store I can feel totally fine and within minutes I feel like I am having a panic attack that has sprung upon me from no where and I have to leave the store. I used to drive to the store because I needed something and felt like I could go in and I would get to the parking lot and be frozen in my vehicle. I just couldn't go in. So I would drive all the way back home. Now, I do online grocery and I can go into the small mom & pop shops by my house for groceries if needed. As of almost a year ago now, I am now able to get out of the house to work. Part time is all I can handle. I used to be able to work full time and even over time. I do not have friends that I go do things with. I have been better at getting out to do things with the children. I cannot wait to get back home the entire time but it don't let them see that of course. It is doable to get out with them these days though! I have made small improvements I feel like. It has taken a while tho and I do struggle a lot.

Possibly, if you notice you aren't making time for family and work then give things a closer look. People can be exhausting. Making time for yourself and doing things that you love is healthy I would think, while balancing family and work. It sounds like you still have healthy interactions with people.

I relate to every word you said anareen, but I’m sorry to hear you’re suffering similarly. It sounds like you’ve created a good amount of space and time for healing from past trauma. It is easy to underestimate the far reaching effects of past adversity.

I do find most of my friends exhausting, except for the people who I only see or hear from very occasionally.

I don’t live alone but I feel alone a lot. DH has numerous medical issues, we shielded 2020, 2021, and also 2022 because it hadn’t gone away enough. We finally emerged out the other side in Jan 2023 to end up shielding in March again due to DH health.

I could scream out loud for my loneliness to end. I am fortunate I have a hobby I can participate with via online classes and fb groups. My screen time is probably off the scale but I don’t care anymore they are my daily crutch and I have made friends all over the world. I have some real friends locally who are in similar position to me and we’ve formed a group to socialise with using zoom and things like fb. I can do my hobby on my own when DH is watching tv and still be in the same room.

one of the reasons for finding like minded people to do a hobby with is that we focus on that hobby, we have our problems but we cast them aside to enjoy our hobby and we discuss that hobby and it’s takes away the daily stresses. We join in online classes and also teach each other. I particularly enjoy designing projects and make kits for my friends. We can then occasionally meet and have a hobby day together, we get a tad excited about hobby things that unless you’re into it doesn’t make sense but brings me lots of joy.

I don't think there is anything wrong with that. I'm naturally an introvert and whenever I feel like I need a break, I take that time-out. It could be a few days or a few weeks. Too much social interaction can get a bit too much for me at times.

As long as it doesn't become a more permanent thing, I believe it's absolutely fine.

If this happens to you every year, and you always feel down, and you always come back out of it, I think you should just do whatever it takes for you to be as comfortable and content as possible.

I know for example that I'm really sad for 2 days before my period, and if I want to just stay at home at those times, I do. It's only the same.

Thanks, I really appreciate all the reassurance. I’m definitely a recovering people pleaser and it goes against the grain to even identify what’s best for me, let alone prioritise it.

I'm also a recovering people pleaser, an introvert who needs a lot of alone time and seem to need more the older I get. I can relate to how you describe yourself. I used to have a bigger social circle, but realised a lot of them were acquaintances whose company I didn't really enjoy but felt I 'should' keep in touch with. I gradually cut back on contact with some of these but enjoy spending time with my real friends and family and I feel so much better.