Hi, just after venting and maybe some advice........ or ..... I'm.not really sure to be honest.
So January this year things changed. I started with what I now know is anxiety.
I can't feel it building from what seems out of nowhere and it takes over. It's not a daily occurance, sometines I can go a few weeks and sometimes it's 3-4 days a week
I have a 17 almost 18 year old son, and my youngest has just started high school. i have worked a minimum.wage part time for for the last 11 years in order to be able to do the school run and with my husband having a good paying full.time job this has worked well for us.
I feel my anxiety is coming from feeling like I have failed in life because I don't have a career or high paying job but to be honest I don't want one either. But when I feel.the anxiety come over me I always feel.its because I'm a failure and have no amazing ambition and that I've let myself and family down as we could be in a much better position if i did. I feel people around me judge me (maybe they don't) and that now my boys are getting older I am expected to go find a career.
I am very socially awkward in a lot of situations eg I never start conversations if we go somewhere I always hang back so someone else goes In first that kind of thing. And the thought of a career change terrifies me.
I worry about how my boys are going to get through life that brings anxiety on.
Finally, not sure if it's hormonal. I'm almost 40, this just came out of nowhere in January, it defiantly get worse when I'm due on. ( I have polycystic ovaries so I now know ow when I'm actually getting a period because of the anxiety), my energy levels are so low,I feel.like I could take a nap most afternoons especially in the run up.yo a period .mood swings are off the chart, appetite is all over the place and I don't have hot sweats as such( or as I would expect them to be 🤷♀️) but I get all hot and flustered out of nowhere
Not sure what I'm expecting from posting this.... but though it may help
Thanks for listening xxxx