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I feel like I'm in a never ending nightmare.

8 replies

Needtotalkplz · 11/10/2023 00:17

Hi,

Throw away account but have followed for years. I need fresh perspective, to outlet and maybe just maybe find someone who can help because I genuinely feel if I didn't have another child and my beautiful dog I'd end it.

It's long.

I have a daughter who is 13.5 years and she has been what I can only say brainwashed and coercion has went on in the family. Things have got so bad she is in a care unit because her being at home wasn't safe for any of us.

Back story. My at the time OHs mother was way too involved with my DD and was always wanting to have DD at her house, over spoil, push me and her father out. When she was 2 years old I found out MILs OH was sleeping in the same bed as DD and I did not like this one bit, there was never a need to and I said never again. I was ignored and it happened again. I stopped contact for 8 months.

At the time OH pressured me to get all the family back on track and I did, against my will. For years all this strange obsessive behaviour got too much but I was cast off as the family nutter. Her partner "took the kids a drive" without a phone and fucked off for 3 hours, at a time, for years on and off and I went to the police because I just didn't like this creepy behaviour constantly brushed off and I was told "without evidence" nothing can be done.

Fast forward since DD was 12 she flipped and was doing very risky behaviour of drinking, smoking, acting out, fighting, underage sex, attacking me for keeping her in the house and taking everything away. Police were called several occasions because I couldn't control her.
She told school I hit her (I pushed her when trying to attack her brother) and I had child protection on me and arrested, thankfully dropped. While she was under CP investigation, she was put at the grandparents after ALL my concerns, that she was something to do with this behaviour. This became a regular pattern like it was planned.

It got to the point I couldn't cope and put her in voluntary care and my life is an absolute mess. It gets worse. The reason I put her in care was because I couldn't cope with the fact the MIL allowed a nearly 16 boy to ply my 12 year old with alcohol and he sexually had his way with her in the MILs home! I made sure the police charged him but they didn't charge the MIL who encouraged the boy to come round!!! Anytime I tried to stop DD seeing her I was slapped, hair ripped out, glasses broken.

My DD still doesn't take in what happened and thinks the gran done nothing wrong!! My daughter won't speak to me! The gran BLAMED my daughter for it happening! I have the message!

Now I am apart from my 13 year old and she has the best relationship with her abuser grandmother.

Social services have been told off me this is corruption and news paper material.

As I said if I didn't have a son and dog I'd not be here anymore. I have slashed my arms several times in severe rage. I don't know how she sleeps at night. It's demonic.

OP posts:
Dawn1331 · 11/10/2023 19:33

You are her mum not her pal and her granny is toxic. She is young and Impressionable and has to learn that her behaviour has serious consequences.
Can you get a restraining order against the gran? You could see your daughter with monitored visitation and even if she doesn't listen just tell her you love her.
The granny would get my foot up her bahookie!

Needtotalkplz · 12/10/2023 08:32

H Dawn,

Thankyou so much for your reply. I got charged last year for trying to batter the gran after police wouldn't listen to me. Her and her neighbour got me done and I was stupid to do it but sheer rage got the better of me.

I have recordings (although probably can't use them legally) with social work and how poor they have been with helping. Every meeting they just look blank, every question I have they have no answer.

The children's unit let her do whatever she wants, she isn't forced to go to school, she's on her phone all night which can't be right considering she has met older boys for sex! I just don't get it! I have asked for them to deal with her and give her consequences and nope, "they can't do that they can only guide her".
I have tried to do everything to the gran (including a restraining order to protect my child) but what chance do I have when police won't even charge her for what happened regarding the older boy and instead I look crazy from last year. I feel honestly like this woman is paying people because nobody normal is THIS untouchable!

I have been alienated with all this and I always would know what to do in any situation but now I'm actually unwell with it.

OP posts:
Dawn1331 · 12/10/2023 09:14

Have you been to citizens advice? They might be able to get you a family lawyer who will know best and it might be good for you to let it play put for now, get yourself well, rest and prepare for her to come home.
If you take voluntary classes now it shows you're taking action?

Needtotalkplz · 12/10/2023 09:51

I haven't been there no, usually when you say all this people look at you, like they cannot take it in and personally I don't blame them. If I was hearing this from someone I'd probably half believe them, if I'm honest because of how nuts it is. If I didn't have messages / recordings I don't know how I'd actually prove anything.
You read of corruption and think "really" but it's unfortunately true!

When I ask several social workers (recorded) WHY its ok to have my daughter around her after everything they have no answers, they patronise me by dodging and not answering! I asked for a children's hearing (Scotland) and even that got pushed back after social work report!!!

Once I feel a bit better and able I will be writing to the top department.

I really do appreciate your reply. Thankyou x

OP posts:
ssworries · 12/10/2023 09:57

Contact the Family Rights Group they can advise you, they don't take sides. You do have to keep phoning to get through to someone as they're under resourced but in my experience this is well worth it.
I hope you can get to a point where you feel better soon. Are you under the care of any mental health teams yourself? It sounds like you could do with an outlet and someone to talk to as well.

Needtotalkplz · 12/10/2023 10:00

Hi Ssworries

My work put me through to occupational health as have been unable to go to work and I was seeing a councillor but I have stopped as I didn't feel it helping but maybe I should go back. I'm also speaking to my GP again on Monday.

I will deffo contact Family Rights group but I thought that was just for England. Either way thankyou.

OP posts:
Dawn1331 · 14/10/2023 11:49

Pm us if you need to talk x

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