80 year old dad in deep depression

[Charlingspont]

Can anyone give me some advice? My dad has been on anti-depressants (sorry, I'm not sure of the brand but I think it begins with M) since a very nasty heart operation a year ago. His physical recovery hasn't been as good as we hoped. He has now fallen into despair basically, and apart from going to the loo, hasn't got out of bed for three weeks. He won't really talk about how he's feeling but when my brother mentioned feeling depressed my dad just said bleakly "you have no idea". Emphasis on the 'no'.

We have a doctor's appointment next week. Please help me ask the right questions and get the right outcome.

Is it mirtazipine? If it is they don't really lift the mood. Your poor wee dad needs to see a sensitive gp and if I were you I would ask for follow up appointments.
My gran was put on antidepressants at age 79 and she flourished on them. She was on citalopram x

Yes, that's it! Thank you so much! I will ask about citalopram. Thank you!

My gran was severely depressed, didn't want to live, wouldn't gey out of bed and was so unhappy but it really helped. He may get something different but keep pushing. Let me know how you gey on I will be praying for him and you x

Thank you Dawn, so much. I will let you know. Doctor isn't until next week but I have written down what you've said... x

May need higher dose? 3 weeks in bed so presently depressed on current prescription

Definitely sounds like his current antidepressants aren't working and need a review. Has he been referred for any other support?

Depending on his heart condition and medications citalopram might not be suitable, especially in an elderly person.

Thank you all, no @AltitudeCheck, he's not been referred for anything. We've made this doctor's appointment ourselves. I'll tell him to take a list of his medication to the doctor (although they should have that on their computer you'd hope).

OP, I feel for you and your dad.
My DF was depressed for decades, and toward the end of his life was prescribed Citalopram, which I suspect was too mild to help. What did help was having chatty company and nice people in the house. He was never happier than when he, DB, DD and I were having dinner and watching the news together. He really sharpened up when I was there and even came out on walks. It is my great regret that I could not move back to my home city (thanks, XH) for his widowhood years.
Good luck with your appointment, OP. I know docs don't like to give strong ADs such as paroxetine to elderly people, but it is well worth having a medication review.

Thanks @groovergirl. I will come back and let you all know what happens at the docs.

@Charlingspont let is know how he gets on x

Quick update - the GP practice cancelled the appointment. 🙁 We have to start again.

Omg no!!! How is he? How are you?

Is he able to be mobile? I think he needs company and a change of scenery etc. Could he stay with you guys for a while or other family?

We have another appointment tomorrow. I will update you all. He's the same.

Youre right that is severe depression if he’s not gotten out of bed for 3 weeks. There’s risk of chest infection, clots, bed sores, losing mobility and of course mood getting even worse. I’m sorry I’m not meaning to scare you but action needed asap glad he’s got a GP appointment. Is he eating and drinking? It’s a hard situation keep talking to him try get him to at least sit out of bed watch tv or listen to music -anything to pick him up until the medication kicks in usually in a couple weeks. X

Mirtazapine does lift the mood if it's the right anti-depressant for you. Citalopram didn't suit me at all, but obviously does your gran. Miratzapine worked really well in me to lift my mood and reduce anxiety. It may or may not suit the OPs Dad.

OP - it sounds like Mirtazapine isn't working (if that's what it is) for your Dad if he's been on it a year. Worth going back to the GP to try an SSRI such as Citalopram (if he hasn't already - it's usually the first choice AD so there may be a reason why it isn't suitable for him) or another type of AD perhaps.

Can he get out at all with his illness (I have long term health issues so completely understand how it can affect your mental health not being able to do anything you used to, losing connections as a result and feeling very stuck and unable to move anything forward). I do find getting out in nature, even for short periods can really help. Is that something he can manage with your help? Does he need mobility aids to make getting out and about possible (I know that's a really difficult step in itself)? GPs can help with mobility aids if needed....

We got to the doctor at 4.40 this afternoon and the doctor called an ambulance to take him straight to hospital! He's had a chest x-ray and some blood tests and now they're waiting for a doctor. We feel relieved that something is finally being done.

@DisenchantedOwl totally agree with you about getting out in nature, and he used to do this for hours when I was young - just go down to the bottom of their (admittedly huge) garden and potter there all day. I think it was a coping mechanism. But he's not been able to do it since his heart operation. 🙁 Or at least not for whole days at a time like he used to.

@Charlingspont any update? How are you both? X

@Dawn1331, they've scanned his heart and lungs, all fine, but think there may be an issue with his kidneys. They also say he hasn't been eating and drinking enough, and his blood pressure is ridiculously low. He's on a drip while they decide what to do.

Has he a history of uti's? I'm so glad he's being seen and you will get some answers. Thinking of you all x

Hey @Charlingspont how are you all getting on? X

I'm sorry you are going through this. Depression is truly awful, and the illness makes it hard to see a positive ending.
What is his diet like? I have read that a lot of UPF foods can have an effect on mental health.
I hope you can get some answers soon.