Advice re mental health and work

[Lexi1234]

I’m new here but have read some posts this weekend with really considerate and practical advice.
im struggling with my mental health to the point where I think I am teetering on the edge of crisis/ breakdown.
it’s not one thing but a difficult year with a stressful relationship/ breakup/ health diagnosis/ failed attempts at dating and all pf
a sudden I feel like I’m drowning.

my job is very fast paced with no let up and the culture is unsympathetic to personal situations/ struggles. It’s a place where work comes first. My direct line manager is also on personal leave unexpectedly and there is more work than the team can handle, a lot of which is falling to me.

Over the past week I’ve started to have really dark thoughts and I feel like if I don’t give myself some time off to recover it’s going to get harder and harder to come back from this. But also the stress of navigating that with my boss/ team and the thought of repercussions when I return feel more stressful than just trying to keep slogging through.

I don’t really know what to do anymore but I’m sat at my desk in tears and am hoping for some useful advice/ experiences.

Don't let work kill you. If you feel unwell (for any reason - physical or mental) then your FIRST responsibility is for your own wellbeing. Book an appointment with your GP to get the appropriate sick note and start looking for another job.

This. Your employer will get rid of you without a thought when it suits them to do that so any loyalty from you is misplaced.
Look after yourself OP, you are important and deserve to be well.

You can’t pout from an empty pot. Stop and give yourself time to heal, mentally and physically. You’re burnt out. Speak to your GP. Take time for yourself.

** pour! FFS

Thank you. It feels daunting to do when I think there will be fall out at work to come back to if I take time off but I also feel like if I keep keeping going I’m going to break myself. I’m single, pay my mortgage on my own and am only just six months into the job so feel a bit vulnerable.
Going to the gp seems like a good first step though.

Definitely go to the GP and get signed off. They might give you some antidepressants and/or point you towards having counselling or CBT. I think I self-referred for CBT, doc gave me meds and I got signed off with ‘stress at work’ and was off for quite a long time actually.

They emailed me asking for a meeting with my manager and HR as I triggered the absence policy as I was over the threshold for the amount of days allowed. This really panicked me, but HR started the meeting saying usually this would go on record, but because it’s due to ‘stress at work,’ they are not counting the absence and instead want to know what’s causing the stress and came up with an action plan to reduce my stress at work. Things have been so much better since then and my managers have been way more supportive.

My old job was the same. Expected more and more and more from me, at 100% perfection rates, hours and hours of unpaid overtime expected, treated like shit, minimum wage...nope. I quit. I still have nightmare about working there and that was 2 years ago now.

Depending on your employer, you may actually be able to access an employee support program via HR, to access therapy quicker than NHS. My GP recommended it because "It's quicker because it's in your employer's best interest to have you well and back at work as quickly as possible"

Absolutely get that but how the OP feels is more important than what the employer wants.

I was in a very bad place some years ago, and going through the same thought process as the OP. I broke down and the very best thing that happened was that my wife insisted I go to the doc. The doc signed me off and told me that 'your body is saying you've done too much' and to switch off from work.

I hated the thought of time off, I was in a public services role, and thought it would be the end of my career. It wasn't. It was the start of understanding myself better, through counselling and then into counselling training to understand the whole subject better.

IMO, you cannot heal and repair while in the same workplace and mental situation. You may need rest, time out and that's ok.

Take care OP, and do what is best for you, not your employer. They can, and will, carry on whilst you get better.

Don't overthink it or worry about what might happen when you return. Look after you, in the now, and take it a day at a time.

I wish you well. It can get better. I promise.