Don’t know how to keep going

[Scutterbug]

Posted a couple of days ago. I have MH issues, anxiety, depression, psychotic episodes and now they wonder if schizophrenia. Because of the suspected schizophrenia I am changing my anti psychotic medication. I am really struggling. I’m hearing constant voices. Normally when I hear them I watch tv to drown them out. But now they are coming through the tv, they come through headphones if I try to listen to music. I walked the dog and people were calling my name but of course there was nobody there. Last night I couldn’t sleep for the voices.
I’ve spoken to the crisis team who are leaving an email for my psychiatrist and care coordinator to pick up Monday.
but I’m sitting here with the voices shouting at me. Telling me they’re my guardian angels and I must do as they say. Telling me my husband is evil. Talking to me saying that people want to harm me and I should harm them first.
last time this happened I was sectioned and spent five weeks in hospital. I’m terrified I’m going to end up there again (been sectioned several times). It’s a year nearly since I was last sectioned and I really thought things were better,
I just feel broken tonight.

So sorry to read this.
I have no advice but bumping for traffic.
Hope you can get seen very soon. Please present to A&E if it really gets too much tonight, you matter and you don’t have to wait until Monday when someone picks up an email. X

Sorry you're feeling like that. Just letting you know that I read your post and I'm sure someone better than me will be along in a minute to support.

@HP89 thank you for taking the time to reply. I find A and E to be not very helpful. I was there two weeks ago following an overdose and was just sent home after seeing a MH worker who deemed me to be fine. I just don’t know how I’ll get to sleep tonight. Feeling a bit “woe is me”!

And yes, A&E sounds like a good option if need be.

@NotAllItsCrackedUpToBe thank you, I really appreciate you taking the time to listen.

Sorry, hadn't seen your response about A &E when I posted.

I don't blame you for feeling sorry for yourself, it sounds awful.

Well done for reaching out - that is so hard to do.
Like above said - go to a&e if you need support tonight. X
P.s there are loads of anxiety/depression/mental health groups on Facebook I'm sure there will be more people there that have been in similar situations and will have some advice for you. X

@tiersta thank you. I’ll have a search for groups in Facebook, I’m never really sure where to post.

Gosh, it sounds like you are going through a really rough time!

Are you able to talk things through with your husband at all? Is he generally supportive in episodes such as these?

You sound very reasonable with being able to recognise that the voices aren’t real and predicting general pattern of what they tell you to do. Really sorry that the mental health team has let you down.

It must be so awful and I really cant imagine what you go through!

ps. It’s ok to be a bit ‘woe is me’ sometimes, life can get an overwhelming! 💐

www.facebook.com/groups/1455063034772787/?ref=share

That's one I've joined but there are loads.

Most groups you can post anonymously too. You'll see as you write a post you can often change to anonymous.

Sounds awful to say but, sometimes I think... reading about others going through a tough time with their mental health helps you. Because you realise you're not alone and you can get support you need and deserve. X

@HP89 thank you. I’m sitting here trying to watch tv, talking back to the voices in the hope they’ll shut up. Feel like I’m losing the plot!

@tiersta thanks again, I’ve requested to join that one.

I have never posted before but I really feel for you OP. You have done well to come on here and talk about how you are feeling. I have a family member who has very similar experiences to you and it is so hard for them to go through it. I hope you get the support you need and that you will find an anti psychotic that helps. Changing medication is not easy but persevere with it.

@Turnedtostone thank you, that’s very kind. My DH is unwell so asleep and I don’t want to wake him. I’m feeling very vulnerable and tearful.

So sorry to hear this. You seem to be aware the voices should not be acted on which is good. I think there is a type of OCD like this, maybe the pure one, where you get auditory hallucinations. It might be worth asking them to consider that. Call the crisis team if not safe though and wake your husband. Lots of love.

Hello

No advice and I'm half asleep but it sounds So hard. You are doing very well. Are they switching you to a new med soon?

Does anything help?? White noise or ASMR? Or anything?????

@Silkiebunny thank you. I finally managed to sleep last night. I’ve spoken to my MH team and have an appointment with them tomorrow. So just today ti get through. I’ve taken diazepam and hope I can sleep for a substantial part of the day as this is torture.

@PurpleRadish no, nothing is helping. Normally I hear voices and can drown them out but they are actually coming out of the tv or radio or whatever else I try. I’m exhausted, it’s so draining. When I talked to my MH team today I couldn’t concentrate as the voices were coming down the phone. I’m switching meds currently so they think that’s causing it.

How was your day @Scutterbug ?? Is your DP better?

@PurpleRadish thanks so much for asking after me. The day has been long although I managed to sleep for a couple of hours. The voices are relentless and I’m very tearful. DH is still unwell so not able to support me but I have an appointment tomorrow with my care coordinator so I hope she will help.