Ive got pnd and panic, 4 kids inc 5 month baby and im pregnant again!!!!!

[Spacecadetiscomingtotown]

I found out yesterday that I was pregnant again, just 5 months after giving birth to dd2, I know what you are all thinking, how could she be so stupid? well im thinking it too!.no it wasnt planned and my brain has scrambled, just sold the pram on saturday, dh was going to go and have the snip after xmas.im recovering from pnd and at the mo im on anti-bs for a suspected ear infection.cant get a docs appt today, earliest is monday, have stopped the anti-bs, omg! what have I done, what will I do, will my depression get worse? what will happen afterwards/i would never have considered another baby, yet and even never after 4.It is completely the wrong time, yet I will not consisder a termination, advice please?

We had/have neither the money nor the space for the 5, but you know what? Wouldn't be without them. Glad your DH is at the superstud stage. Get there incredibly quickly don't they?

well i sometimes think whats one more? must be going mad already! Eldest is thirteen, second one is nearly 11, eldest will be 14 when its due and ds 2 will be starting school next september so I suppose its not all bad, the depression and health thing worry me big time though and our house is cramped as it is, have 4 bedrooms and ds1 has to share with his little bro which obviously doesnt work well as there is a 7 year age gap.At least we have the people carrier already!going to phone my hv next week and see if she visit again after xmas.

well i mean you've already got the stuff - clothes/toys/nursery wise etc, so it's just really nappies(assuming you use disps), and food that are the main cost (unless you end up moving to a bigger house of course(!))

We cant afford to move but will prob have to extend now for definate, more money worries, Im still on maternity leave! I now have to tell my employers that I have managed to get preg while still on ml!!!

Oh SC - just wanted to say thinking of you. Hope appointment goes ok at drs. Dont worry what anyone else thinks - its none of their business. It will all work out in the end!
Kizziex

hi - just to let you know you're not the only one to get pregnant by accident. I thought i'd finished with having babies - had an 11yr old, 7 yr old and 5 yr old when i found out i was 21 wks pregnant and i was on the pill at the time! Now have a gorgeous 11 1/2 wk old as well - hubby definately having snip this time though. Didn't get as many negative remarks as i thought, for some reason more people were horrified when i got pregnant the third time (he was an accident as well so you'd think i'd have learnt!)I wasn't exactly thrilled to be pregnant the 4th time as thought we were through with sleepless nights etc and the kids were older and we were just starting to get our lives back to ourselves. I was quite pleased that i didn't find out until 21 weeks as i felt it took the decision out of my hands iyswim. I know it's really corny but my Grandma always says they all come to be loved although i remember her not being very pleased when my aunty got pregnant with her 5th!

Went to docs today and got a telling off!! felt like a small child, could tell thre doc thought I was really irresponsible!Have a due date of 24th aug, which is my birthday.If the pregnancy hormones are going to lift me I wish they would hurry up and work!! Feel v panicky and low at the mo and am not sleeping properly either.

Message withdrawn

Hi Spacecadet,

firstly, congratulations - might seem like a daft thing to say, but you've decided you don't want a termination and are having the baby and all babies are (or should be) a cause for celebration.
secondly, you'll be fine. Yes, things might look hellish now and it will be hard but you will manage.
I also think that your doctor was out of order telling you off. What business is it of his (I'm assuming it was a man) whether you have one, five or ten children. I found a website which gave a lot of useful things to say when people commented on the number of children you have (I have four and got the comments as well ). My favourite was something like, "We're not trying to populate the earth, just outnumber the idiots".
Have you another GP in the practice or a HV who you could talk to about the practicalities of you situation, eg depression, coping with five children, not being able to sleep etc without being judged. What you need now is support not a 'telling off'.

What on earth did your GP expect to gain by telling you off? What an idiot. I agree with Tabitha that you need to find a helpful, supportive person be they another GP, HV or midwife. I must say with both my pregnancies I heaved a sigh of relief when I finally was handed over to the midwives for my antenatal care and didn't have to see the GP anymore.

Congratulations on your pregnancy and I hope that once the stress of Christmas is over everything will seem a bit more manageable. XXXX

What a stupid GP! Let's hope that the HV does better - perhaps she could talk to the GP and explain that you don't need telling off, but support.

thanks for all your supportive messages. he is a pompous pig at the best of times and I have had run ins with him before, there is a lady gp who I get on with better who is very kind but getting an appt to see her as an emergency is impossible.Had a bit of a shock to day when dh came home and told me that he has had eneough of his place of work,He has been there for 15 years and has been the manager for 6 and has built the place up , but now is not the time to be considering a career change! eekk!! well whatever , I will stand by him, he says he is v unhappy with the hierchy at his place.

i do sometimes wonder what planet men live on, dh asked me couple of weeks ago (youngest of 4 is 11 1/2 wks) when i thought i could go back to work! then wondered why i wasn't best pleased. Hard though it was i did resist the urge to reach for the nearest sharp implement.

I am worried because at the mo, my depression seems to have suddenly worsened and my panic is bad, had to go to see my counseller today and felt terrified all the way there and back, its a horrible feeling, feel really depressed.

Hi Spacey! Congratulations! I think your mind is made up, isn't it? I posted on here not too long ago because I was pg but didn't want to have another baby but then didn't want to terminate either. Fortunately, I guess, I miscarried. I have a little story for you. Dh has a boyhood friend called Paul, married, 4 children. Paul's wife Laura told me she was looking forward to going back to work now the kiddies were all in school, etc., etc. Then Paul's brother & his wife were killed in a drunk driving accident, leaving a 6 month old daughter and a 2 year old son. Paul & Laura took both the children to raise as their own.

I guess what I want to say is "go with the flow". As for PND, I am clinically depressed and have been since childhood. I went through two pregnancies on Prozac because I had no real choice. The babies were not affected by the drug, at least as far as anyone can tell. I send you lots of hugs and support!

Hi spacecadet just wanted to say congrats and also say how much i admire you for the desicion you have made.

When Dd2 was 3mths old and i was suffering from pnd, i found out i was expecting. My gp also thought i was stupid and basically persuaded me to have a termination. I have regretted it ever since, and just wish i'd had the courage to see it through as i'm sure i would have been fine in the end.
Thankfully i have had my Ds since then which has helped heal things a bit, but it is something i will always regret.

I wish you good luck and good health with your pregnancy.

Nutty xxxxx

I too felt worse during my second pg, and worried desperately that I'd got pregnant too soon (I had been told not to get pg again before ds was 2 - and decided to go ahead in any case). But it really is part of the effect of pregnancy hormones. The negative feelings never got as bad as 'real' depression, I think they were at their worst at about 3-4m, and then eased a lot, until they were completely gone by the last 3m. HTH.

Well I am trying to get into the christmas spirit, quite difficult but im doing my best, just feel overwhelmingly scared all the time, its quite horrible, I feel like im having a permanent panic attack.

poor you. don't really know what to say, other than try to eat as regularly as possible and just generally try to relax/deep breathe to try and ward the panic off as much as possible. stuff the xmas spirit (as well as the turkey!) you've got through this before, and you will do again. just try and hold onto that thought to ride through the bad times.

last xmas I was a quivering wreck - burst into tears after they played "Mad World" on Top of the Pops - but that was my last real depressive episode - 12 months can make such a difference. Try and get in to see the nice GP as soon as you can after Xmas to talk through how best to get you through this.

take care

congratulations space cadet, and good luck

Thanks stitch and thanks mts, the thing that keeps me going is knowing I have felt well again since all this happened and I can do it again.Seeing my cbt therapist all through xmas which is prob a good thing.