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Original poster

If you were offered a job in a dangerous country?

93 replies

onascale · 06/10/2023 22:47

How crazy would this be?

I'm middle aged, stupidly took voluntary redundancy 7 years ago, thinking that with my experience and qualifications I would find another job.
Hah.

I've had some temp contracts, but I'm not paying into a pension. Covid hit the job market hard and it hasn't really recovered, I'm barely making enough to cover living expenses. This is probably going to get worse, not better.

I have been offered a job in a very dangerous country. I would be living in a compound, but there is always the possibility of being in very real danger.

However, the money is amazing. I could do 3 months there and earn a year's salary.

DH wouldn't be happy, we have been married for years and he is giving me a hard time every day about money.

DCs have finished Uni, are in their early twenties, we've seen them once in the past year.

I've always been independent, I'm not scared and really, what have I got to lose? I'm living a slow, suburban death.
This was never what I wanted for myself. DH has got stuck in his ways as we've got older.

All thoughts appreciated.

OP posts:
AshGirl · 08/10/2023 08:25

Sounds like Iraq or similar to me. As others have said, a major corporation will give you the right security training eg what to do if you are driving in convoy and the front vehicle goes over an IED, anti-kidnap training etc

In your situation I would give it a go. It's not something most people could do because of family / caring commitments, but I like my job and it wouldn't bother me that much to be limited to a compound. Most of these compounds are pretty well set up with gyms, mini cinemas etc

Think about insurance and health care in particular. Do you have any chronic conditions which need careful management?

Good luck with your decision!

Secondwindplease · 08/10/2023 08:29

If it’s Iraq or a similar middle- eastern or North African context, do it.

If its South Sudan or Somalia, don’t.

OneCup · 08/10/2023 08:31

If I were you, I'd say which country it is as some posters may have useful information to share.

On principle, I think I would go given you it's an only 4+2 weeks set up.

Zzizzisnotzeproblem · 08/10/2023 08:34

For me it would depend if the locals were hostile because you were exploiting them or not. I would never work somewhere where me or my company were getting fat at the expense of the people there.

crumblingschools · 08/10/2023 08:58

Is there a reason local people can’t do the work or be trained to be able to do it?

gfhgft · 08/10/2023 08:59

If it's in oil or gas industry which it sounds like it would be seeing your rotation then yes. I know lots of people who did it and they earned good money and thought it was fine. For me the question would be, is the work dangerous or is it just carried out in a dangerous place? Like I would not work in Afghanistan in an NGO, know people who did it and I wouldn't take the risk. But oil and gas doesn't have to be dangerous ( though could be) so I would do it.

MentalLoadOverload · 08/10/2023 09:13

I’d go for it.

MouseKeys · 08/10/2023 09:30

My husband did a few months living in a compound in Nigeria when we first met. He couldn’t leave the compound and they were taken to/from the airport in armoured vehicles when their contract was up. He said it was very boring especially in the evenings when his colleagues usually got drunk as there was nothing much else to do. Good luck with your decision OP!

JamMakingWannaBe · 08/10/2023 09:40

Somebody's got to do it. Why shouldn't that be you?

Lonecatwithkitten · 08/10/2023 13:22

How does your husband feel?
My husband travels every year to a city in South America where the kidnap risk is huge he travels with an exSAS body guard who is armed when in country and is 'prepared to neutralise the risk'. They are safe at the hotel and safe at the work location, but it is very risky between the two scares me shitless each year.

Original poster
onascale · 08/10/2023 14:54

My husband wouldn't be coming with me. Our relationship has been drifting for years, he knows that I have been unhappy for a long time.
I did suggest counselling, he agreed but I'd have to set it up. He is smart enough to say all the right things to the counsellor, I would look mad and needy, in normal circumstances, I am neither. Currently, I'm unable to find work, he is cross at the lack of money, I am frustrated at his lack of interest in me and his broken promises he hasn't been unfaithful.

We would be flown straight into the compound and out again.
I'm interested in the work and the people I would be working with nothing to break my marriage vows, it will be an interesting mix of people.

The compound is guarded by armed, former armed forces personnel, at all times.
Medical support is basic, there is a GP on site with ex forces training. I don't have an appendix, a gallbladder or periods anymore.
Medically, if the crap really hit the fan I would be airlifted out. They don't have much, they do have plenty of morphine.

There is a gym on site, kitchens.
Everyone has their own room, en suite.
There are women's quarters and men's.
There is running water and internet.

The FCO advice for the area I would be in is amber, tourists do go there, though a lot of the country is red.

If an invasion of the area happened, the company would do it's best to airlift everyone out.
If they didn't, I would be killed.

As it is at the moment at home, I am living a slow death.
My husband says that he loves me and won't consider separation. I'm stuck here.
20 years ago I would have thought that this was madness, but 20 years ago I had younger DCs, a career, a happier relationship with my husband, friends. Life was challenging, there was lots to do.
We live in a black hole, not quite countryside, not like living in the Peak District or Yorkshire. Without any of the benefits of living in a town or city.
As I am not earning, money is tight so we don't go out.
I spend my days at home. As I say, it's a slow death.

OP posts:
Pushpull · 08/10/2023 14:57

Then it sounds to me you should go. It's a time to reassess for both of you. You sound desperately unhappy and if nothing else this will be a catalyst.

It sounds like there is loads to address in your marriage but is there a rush really?

SaltyGod · 08/10/2023 15:03

Given your circumstances I’d go. I have close family in the oil industry and what you’ve described sounds like some of their set-ups in certain countries.

Given that you are so unhappy at home, and in need of income and adventure, go for it. If it’s awful you don’t need to continue

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 08/10/2023 15:10

Well, at least it won’t be boring, and if the worst happened, it probably wouldn’t be a slow death!

Seriously , you’ve been offered the chance to change your life for the better. Of course, that’s going to come with some risk. Aldous Huxley said ‘Everything must be paid for’. It sounds as if this would be a price worth paying. I wish you good Luck.

user1494050295 · 08/10/2023 15:13

In the nicest way if you don’t go I will kill you for not going. Everything has risk. You are going in with your eyes open.

Loopytiles · 08/10/2023 15:17

I wouldn’t go, would continue to seek UK work, including lower paid and different to what you did before, and decide whether you want to remain married. You sound passive about that.

TokyoSushi · 08/10/2023 15:18

Sounds pretty cool OP, I'd give it a go, if it's unbearable, just do the 8 weeks. If not, it'll be a really interesting and well paid experience!

Loopytiles · 08/10/2023 15:19

If the problem is paucity of jobs commutable from where you live now would consider moving alone for a UK job and, if the job is in an area with costly housing, being a lodger or in a rental share.

Original poster
onascale · 08/10/2023 15:19

There is no rush to address anything in our marriage.
In fact, my husband is reluctant to address anything, or do anything.

I'm like one of those mice in the heroin experiment (the strongest thing I take is paracetamol), I am becoming increasingly desperate just for bloody anything to happen.

Which is why I feel that this is dangerous, yes, but it will certainly shake things up a bit.
My hope is that DH, given time alone, will have to consider what he really wants.
DCs will be ok with it because they know that I wouldn't stop them if they wanted to do similar.
It will give me time to think about what I really want too, and some money so that I feel that I am making an equal contribution, equally, I can leave if that's what we both decide.

Am I trying to force the issue wrt our marriage? Probably.
Is that right or fair?
A while ago now I went somewhere and had to park at the very top of a big multi storey, I looked down. If they hadn't had barricades to prevent me, I would have given serious consideration to throwing myself off. As it was, I tried to work out whether I could get past the barricades (not without being caught by the CCTV and causing a huge fuss, Police etc).

Surely anything has to be better than that?

OP posts:
Photio · 08/10/2023 15:21

Could you do 1 or 2 tours there and save enough money to relocate to another area of uk where there are more jobs?
It sounds like you are ready to leave your husband and start afresh.

I don't know what your skill set is but I'm in Edinburgh and there are job vacancies in loads of sectors here

Noseyoldcow · 08/10/2023 15:22

Your last post indicates that you are seriously unhappy/depressed. Without being rude, are you in the right place to make a serious decision?

BethDuttonsTwin · 08/10/2023 15:30

I'd do it in a heartbeat.

WinterDeWinter · 08/10/2023 15:35

OP, you poor thing, I'm sorry you feel so paralysed and desperate. You must, must remember though - you can finish your marriage at any point for any reason or none, and you don't need his permission to do so. If you're feeling blankly suicidal or anywhere near it, it doesn't matter if anyone thinks badly of you, including him, including your children. Although you know, people don't judge in my experience - they just accept that there are things they don't see.

So don't take this job for those reasons.

BUT - you must end your marriage one way or another, and if 9 months or whatever it is in this country will help you get back on top in terms of your own career and being able to support yourself when you divorce him, then that might be quite a critical plus point.

Mysticguru · 08/10/2023 15:43

I've worked in three war zones. Not front line but exposed to possible incidents.

I think there's a lot of press hype/coverage around war, don't get me wrong when it is heavy fighting it is fucking heavy.

VioletCharlottte · 08/10/2023 15:46

Given everything you have said, I think I would seriously consider it if I were you. Mainly because the money you will earn will put you in a much better positon to leave your husband when you get back.

It sounds like it would be quite boring, being stuck on a compound all the time, but for 3-6 months it would be ok. I'm sure you'd meet some interesting people that would make it more bearable. I'd be less worried about the risk. You would be in the compound and the company would airlift your out if anything were to happen. We take risks every day, look how many people are killed in road accidents.

Ideally, you would be able to agree to an amicable separation, but if your DH a isn't playing ball, then I think doing this is a way to a means of starting a new life without him.