I’ve been asked these questions quite a few times so I’d like to explain my last post a little bit.
I have been in therapy and I have had medication I no longer have a therapist or medication as I have no insurance or money, I’ve been to 7 different therapist and psychiatrists but they have all ended around the same way. They ultimately know something is wrong with me and I would agree but they also get things wrong I would not classify what I went through as traumatic rather I see it as a punishment I have been with adults when I was underage that was my choice not something something traumatic I got into drugs because I belived it would make me feel something again it was my choice. I have been around death for quite awhile but it not traumatic rather a punishment for my actions. I have been in fights that ended in either me being bloody or others and again it was only to feel anything. I do have people I care about I my fiancé(yes I know I’m young for it being only 19 but she understands me more than anyone.) I have been close to death many times some by my own hands and other times by others again I do not see it as traumatic events but as punishments for not being human in a world full of human beings. I will admit my mistakes are a part of my punishment as I can not be redeemed as only humans are allowed that comfort. I understand that many people will take pity but I do not want that I am not a human being I am not good I am here to serve my punishment before my time ends and I can rest with my loved ones. Please be aware I understand I am not well but I am trying to get help so the others around me do not share the same fate as mine. If you do have anymore questions I will gladly answer any of them.