I'm feeling very isolated, and it's my fault

[Ruminate2much]

Help!
I've posted on other people's threads, but decided I should start my own.
I've had OCD since age 11. Recently I've been through a trauma, which led to severe depression and suicidal ideation. I ended up having a full-on breakdown. I live alone, so my sister suggested I come and stay with them. I dropped my work, and came, really to save my life. My sister and family have all been extremely kind. My OCD symptoms ironically got better when depressed. Now I'm feeling less depressed, they're returning, and even worse than before. Also extreme sensitivity. It's affecting my relationships badly, and I can't sleep due to an upset with my brother-in-law here a few hours ago, which resulted in me feeling ganged up on by everyone here. I think my sister thinks I'm coping much better with life than I am, and thinks she can be harder on me now than I can cope with. I'm meant to be going back to where I live tomorrow, but have also had a slight disagreement with my landlord (long story) and I may soon be facing homelessness. I think I've blown it, and messed up. My friends know I've been through a mental health crisis, and I feel embarrassed. I know there's a risk my suicidal thoughts might return. I don't want to tell my sister this, in case she thinks I'm being manipulative. I'm so isolated, in spite of having friends etc. I think if you're single, it's very tricky.
I don't know where to turn, or to whom. Does anyone else feel their mental health challenges have isolated them?

Mental health challenges are definitely isolating. You're literally in your head and in your story and thinks no-one understands. But you are not alone. We're all in this together. Keep reaching out on here.

Can you not talk to your friends, what makes you feel embarrassed?

It's great you have an IRL network of friends and family around you!

I highly recommend you seek pro help for the OCD though, so please call your GP this afternoon. And the Samaritans can be a good idea if you feel at your lowest.

And keep sharing on here

Love

Please don't feel embarrassed. I would want my close friends and family to feel that they can share their worries. I'm sure those that love you won't judge.

Thank you. I guess I feel slightly humiliated by the fact I've not been coping with life.
It's good to know there are many people on here who understand

Thank you. I don't know why I feel so embarrassed to have had a breakdown. I know many people stop coping at some point...

It sounds like you would benefit from a group of people going through the same thing or people who aren't afraid of sharing openly and being vulnerable.

We all tend to pretend things are fine when behind closed doors we're actually struggling.

I think you could really benefit from sharing openly and hear that others' lives aren't always what they seem.

Are there any mental health support groups in your area?