I'm burning out, any advice?

[Realfunwow]

After a horrendously stressful year workwise, I think I'm burning out. I've had very little support from my company, have experienced staff shortages, unhappy colleagues, criticisms from my Manager (who is now off on long-term sick because she's burned out), just carrying the can. Upper management have been painted a terrible picture of me which has now changed because my Manager is off and we have important stuff coming up, so I'm leading on these things. I cry every 3-4 hours and I've not dpoken yo anyone about it outside of work - told mh Manager and responded to her criticisms and off sick she went. I'm experiencing dizziness, confused thinking, muscle pain and weakness, sleeplessness. I have a long commute. I'm looking for another job but I think my age is going against me (58) I'm not going off sick as I may end up being signed off for a while and I cannot afford to do that financially. I've no friends who live locally and very little downtime. Currently, as a lot of the senior team are off - hidays and sick- I can't take leave. Felt bad enough to talk about it on here , previously felt I cannot talk about it because its shameful I'm in this position at my age. It's a kind of smiling burnout and I keep thinking I'm just going to drop dead which might be a good thing.

Unless this job is outrageously well paid

I’d walk without a backwards glance

Well ideally you would leave or go on sick like everyone else because it's almost impossible to get yourself to care less and do a bit less to manage your stress

You need to prioritise yourself, your mental health and your physical health.

I understand the not wanting to go sick

Coping measures

• outsource everything you can (cleaner, food delivery etc)
• prioritse your health: quality food, walks to destress, when I was in a similar situation I had a weekly massage etc

getting out is critical though and if you are burning out it might impact your ability to find another job … do what you can now to find a job (interview skills coach etc) but leaving and eg doing a contract while you look for a new perm job might be a better option

Sounds to me like you're in a toxic work environment. That is the responsibility of senior management to fix, not you. It doesn't matter if others are off sick, that's not your responsibility here.

You need to go to your GP, and ask to be signed off with stress and see what they can offer in terms of support.

Focus on YOU not work for a while. What do you need to feel better? Some time off work, a walk every day, see some friends, focus on good nutrition and good sleep. Then reassess with your GP in a couple of weeks.

@Goodgrief83 , it's not, but I need the money and that is what keeps me there. I'm at an age where trying to get another job is very hard. Someone aged 30, with 26 years less experience than me, just got promoted to be my (soon to be) manager. I feel a bit trapped tbh.

If you don't take steps to improve your situation by taking sick leave/ holiday or leaving your body will take over and you'll be unable to work here or anywhere.

It happened to me. I thought I could just carry on. I crashed. I had to have 30 months off work in the end and then start again at a junior level.

You literally can't just carry on.

You need time off. Poor management is the main reason for burnout. I had 6 months off sick 10 years ago - I was on full pay. I went back for one year, nothing had changed so I found a new job on the same pay 100% less stress.

@midgemadgemodge I can't leave because I need the income. I've been looking for a new post for a couple of years, but only had 1 interview.

@Gettingbysomehow I do need time off, but we only have 2 weeks paid sick leave and I've had a week off after I had a fairly serious car accident in May. I have 14 days annual leave left until April, some of which I will use over Christmas, but j might see if I can get a week off at the end of October to recuperate. I could do with a holiday too, not had one since 2007.

When do you want to retire? It’s a horrid situation. Can you do a week sick and then blitz the job apps?

@HolyGuacamole28 ive done some job app blitzing this past weekend so I'll see what comes of it! I'm going to have to work a lot longer than 65, I've no collateral and my pension/savings are, in reality, not enough to retire on.

Leave your job immediately
Get signed off

No job is more important than your long term health.

Never go back to that job either, just to be clear

@Princessfluffy oh how I would love to leave, but I'd not be able to live on UC. I have bills, a daughter and a dog. My Manager came back yesterday from long term sick but cannot discuss the issues in case, and I quote: 'I start to get upset again.' They get upset! What about me????

Can you get signed off, focus on your health and then look for another job?
That way you will still be paid?

If you ignore your health you risk full burnout, which for me meant I could not work at all for 9 years. People just do not realise how serious burnout can be and how long lasting. And nobody ever thinks it will happen to them until it does.
Don't let it happen to you OP.

@Princessfluffy 2 weeks full pay, 2 weeks half pay per 12 months. I had time off after a car accident in May. I had 1 week off so I have 1 week sick before I'm on half pay for 2 weeks then no pay. Its so tricky, I need the money, but I need the rest/recovery. I'm sorry you had such a hard time recovering, how did you manage?

Find out if your company has sick pay insurance. Some places have it, so you use up your sick pay, then go on SSP for a while, then after a couple of months of SSP the insurance kicks in and you get paid more.

but yes - you need to be signed off with work related stress before you burn out entirely.

Is this a really well paid job? Because you could walk into a warehouse job if you live near any by the end of the day. Sure its not glamorous but its also not stressful, you just turn up, churn through your shit and bog off home like a herd of cattle, which is sometimes what you need, a break from shitty mindgames and office politics! Place near me is offering £12.50/hr for nightshifts.

@Validus we just get 2 weeks full, 2 weeks half pay then Ssp. Many, many Staff have been off long term.

@BarleySugars the job isn't brilliant pay, but it's OK. I've been applying for warehouse work funnily enough. Am on the books of 4 agencies and they got me an interview in July but I wasn't successful with it. But I'm keeping on trying!

Sounds like you need a new job
this is far too much nonsense to deal with

Maybe hand in your notice and do some temping for a bit. There is loads of temp work in my area, lots of which is quite long term.

Hmm, weird. Round here they advertise jobs that start that afternoon and all you do is fill a form in and they see if you turn up/survive. I've done two jobs like that and they were a great mental relief 🤣 maybe try a recycling plant near you if you have one? That was actually quite fun - grabbing stuff of a conveyor belt that doesnt belong there and you cant even have people talk to you because you're all wearing ear protectors and the machines are loud.

@BarleySugars actually sounds like fun! I'm pretty sure I fidnt get the job because of age 🙈