How to convince ds17 to go to counselling

[Muggcake]

Ds17 with high anxiety and low mood. Has had panic attacks, talks about feeling overwhelmed that bad things will happy, poor sleep, is unmotivated and just sad. At his worst he’s said he wants things to end. Arranged counsellling but he’s now saying he won’t go. Does anyone have any ideas?

As hard as it is, you can’t force him. Just leave the door open for him and let him know that at any point he changes his mind you will help to facilitate/fully support him/look after him while he goes through it.

Tough as a mum as you want to fix it immediately as seeing them in pain is so hard. My experience is you can’t fix it, you can only love him through it.

Have you asked him why not? He may think it won't help, or will be upsetting for example, in which case he may be comforted by the therapists approach if they focus on helping clients cope with anxiety rather than focusing their past experiences / emotions.

I'd be asking him to try three sessions initially and just see. Presumably he doesn't want to continue being unhappy?

Also make clear that if he doesn't like the therapist you can find another. One of my children saw three before we found a fit. That was ok- once we found the right one it didn't take much for things to get better.
I hope things turn a corner for your son soon.

Would he talk to someone on Zoom? If so have a (free) chat with Therese Langford of https://www.facebook.com/calmmindhypnotherapy - she specialises in children and young adults with anxiety.

Is there anyone whose advice he may be more likely to take?

E.g. favourite uncle, GP, trusted teacher, sports coach, friends of his own age?

Obviously there is the issue of confidentiality with some of these. But if he can be convinced to share his situation (or let you share it) or ask their advice, then that might help convince him. Or even NHS or Wikipedia websites showing recommended treatments for his issues.

Sorry, but as parents of 17 year olds then we are the lowest of the low when it comes to them choosing whose advice to follow!