Does Mumsnet use affect your mood?

[HuntForRedOctober]

I’ve developed a really heavy Mumsnet habit. I’m using it almost as much as I used to use social media. I always have enjoyed reading websites where people give each other advice. (Quora, Reddit, Ask a Manager, comments in the Guardian)

On the one hand the MN forum is incredibly informative. It’s helped me think about an enormous range of personal and relationship issues, and some related to practical matters. It’s also taught me that I’m not alone in wondering about the things that I wonder about. I think I now have a better picture of the interior lives of a wider variety of women. Many of the health discussions are also informative too.

On the other hand, many of the posts are about arguments, people mistreating each other, people struggling. And I wonder if my heavy use might be making me more aware of problems and more cynical on a day to day basis.

It also doesn’t help that time on Mumsnet is time I could be doing something else, like exercising.

Yes I think it does. I find it very frustrating for lots of reasons.

Yes. Sometimes for the good, and sometimes for the bad. I wish I could have more self-regulation about what I post, as I've sometimes really been hurt by responses. I suffer a lot with my mental health, so it's unfortunate

Yes, mumsnet draws me and feeds my anxieties. It only tend to go on ut when I'm feeling worried about something and then get caught up in unhelpful posts. But its hard to stop reading!

Yes definitely and mostly for the bad. People constantly having a go at each other. Nasty male posters, sarcasm, petty digs and bitchiness. It's very wearing. Dunno where else to go for friendly chat. I'm quite isolated at home so would like somewhere pleasant to interact with others.

I'm newly back on here after a lengthy break.
I definitely see a massive difference between what's normal behaviour on here vs real life. I don't think I'll be staying for long but at the same time, I'm also thinking of coming off Facebook too. It's just too much vitriolic nastiness to absorb sometimes. It definitely does affect you, imo. Even if you're just reading it and not partaking!

Yes, I've stopped posting threads because of it, no matter what its for you are always met by shitty replies from some. I go through periods of posting on other people's threads but sometimes don't for months because of the behaviour of some mumsnetters. Who knows, it could be this post that makes me decide to have a break!

I like it in many ways. I like the fact you can post about absolutely anything that comes in to your mind and have a chat about it. I often find it helpful and a great source of information and advice. For example, I recently had a dental problem and got so much useful that really made a big difference to my life.
However, there are many things I dislike. It takes up way too much of time. I've almost stopped reading books at bedtime because I'm just scrolling through Mumsnet! I find people unnecessarily rude and nasty at times. I find some of the views expressed upsetting.

I use it as a light / filtered news source. And a bit of company when I'm having a break during the day.

I do think it much more likely you will be attacked if you post now, so I'm very careful about starting posts.

There's a few things I'd appreciate a wider view on that I don't want to ask my close family or friends. But if its coming from genuine concern I don't need a kick it for it.

Someone close in the family is dieing and the family are in Total detail. Talking it on here is the only outlet except for friends.

Generally I think it's more of a negative effect but the good parts make it worth staying.

Same OP - definitely a bit of a habit and it does mess with my mood although I also find it useful, both for practical things and the more "human" side.

I used to read a lot of relationships threads and found myself becoming ultra-suspicious and hypervigilant (which I have always been prone to but was managing well). I had a giant argument with DP because I found a random canvas tote bag (turned out to be dogsitter's) in the house. I don't think I would've immediately assumed the worst or jumped on him if I hadn't read dozens of "he's definitely cheating" and "are you sure there's not someone else" comments on random MN threads that day. I also found myself constantly looking for clues that something was up and generally became an anxious wreck - some posters would say it's my gut feeling protecting me and something is wrong with the relationship, but as soon as I stopped reading the threads, I stopped seeing danger everywhere and relaxed a bit.

I find the attitude towards food, diet and weight on here very peculiar indeed. There’s nothing in between those who really struggle with their weight and those sanctimonious types eager to condemn others for not managing to be a size 8 or having a perfect BMI. Throw in references to ‘skinny fat’ and a few conflicting recommendations about diet (low carb versus MFP anyone?) and you have the ingredients for a headfuck, if not an actual ED.

I now hide threads of this nature as I refuse to be made to feel any worse about my perfectly normal, average, imperfect menopausal body than I already do.

Yes, I’ve been spending an inordinate amount of time scrolling through Mumsnet and procrastinating on doing all the things I should be doing. I’m feeling very antisocial at the moment and it’s a way of connecting to other people except that it sometimes makes me feel drained and yet the compulsion is there to keep reading and scrolling.

Definitely- I find the days I find nice threads and can just leave it alone after a small amount of time, I’m fine. If I get too invested in something where for example I disagree with a lot of people I start thinking about it too much, and keep checking in to see if others share my views. Definitely clouds my headspace!!

Ps the nights I don’t look at a phone an hour before bed or first thing in the morning it’s a huge help!

Yes. I have a five month old baby and whilst struggling with a bout of postnatal depression I started a thread, under a different name, about an issue that I was struggling with. Some of the comments I got were completely unnecessary and nasty. However, some were incredibly supportive. I stay well away from the AIBU threads, they all seem to turn toxic very, very quickly.