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Mice - Stress - How long to get back to normal?

34 replies

wornoutparent · 02/10/2023 13:22

Compared to many of the problems in these threads mine is relatively minor but it is causing me anguish and I would love some advice.

We have an infestation of mice in the house, and although it is getting treated they're regularly heard in the walls and between floors. Very limited evidence in the 'open' but occasionally skuttling in the rooms and despite going through everything I haven't found them.

I am losing my mind. I feel in a constant state of panic, my heart is racing and I am barely eating/sleeping because of the worry about what they're doing and how to get rid of them. Whenever I hear a noise, during the day or night I am completely on edge. I am really snappy with my children over the slightest things like spilling a crumb at mealtimes, its really not fair on them. I know my reaction is over the top but I can't find a way to control it.

I am also worried about the future, will I ever feel safe or relaxed in this or any other home again? Even visiting other people's houses and public buildings I find myself on edge listening and looking out for mice/rats or gaps they can come through.

IRL no-one else seems to understand the impact on me or is be bothered by the situation.

I was hoping others, who might have had similar experiences could share their advice on how to cope until the situation is resolved and whether things will ever go back to 'normal'? Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.

OP posts:
Eyesopenwideawake · 02/10/2023 13:41

There's a part of your brain called the Reticular Activating System. It's role is to filter out information that you don't need to think about and make sure you pay attention to things you consider important. At the moment it's on high alert for anything that sounds, smells or looks like a mouse, because that's currently the focus of your attention and energy. And because your mind perceives mice to be a threat, your fight or flight response is being ramped up, hence the physical symptoms and the feelings of panic.

I don't know if knowing that all this is normal human behaviour is helpful?? Did you have a fear of mice prior to this or is it the thought of them being in your house that's distressing you?

Babynamef · 02/10/2023 13:43

Oh jeez no help but this sounds awful and absolutely exhausting. Hope the problem is fixed soon and life can go back to normal for you

wornoutparent · 02/10/2023 14:07

Thanks both.

I have never had a problem with mice before and have owned gerbils, hamsters etc before. I did read that some people have a fear of infestation (so ok with a mouse, not so good with mice crawling around their house).

I feel on the edge of a nervous breakdown with no clear way out. I know that is stupid as my problem is so much smaller than issues others deal with around the world, but I don't seem to stop the way my mind and body are reacting.

OP posts:
Eyesopenwideawake · 02/10/2023 14:25

Write down the thoughts that are distressing you. Simply taking them out of your head and putting them on paper can rob them of much of their power. Then use your conscious, logical mind to find a solution, if the thoughts have any rational basis. If they don’t then screw up the piece of paper and throw it, and the thought in the bin.

APurpleSquirrel · 02/10/2023 14:26

Last week we discovered we had a mouse in the house - we think it was just the one, & it managed to trap itself in the empty bath & we were able to get it out & DH released it a long way away from our house.
However, we've left the traps down & keeping an eye on signs of further mice - nothing so far so am hoping it was just one that got in through our back door.
Anyway, I totally get you - I was on edge, listening for noises, checking for signs etc.
what is being done to get rid of them? Can this be sped up? It's good they aren't in the house (finding droppings & wee was 🤢) but they can cause a lot of damage.

TellerTuesday · 02/10/2023 14:35

Hi OP
I sympathise.

We had rats around this time 3 years ago and it was honestly the worst experience of my life. It was during lockdown and I couldn't get any pest control to out at first, I did eventually find a lovely guy who came several times. Unfortunately we had to use poison in the end as the traps didn't work and one died in the cavity wall. So we finally got rid of the scuttling noises but then came the smell, which lasted weeks, then came the flies which lasted weeks. Then I became physically ill from the smell etc (I was WFH).

However, I now know that all holes/entry points are sealed and touch wood there hasn't been any signs since.

It really was horrific in the midst of it but I'm sure it will get better for you as it did for us. Just hang on in there xx

wornoutparent · 02/10/2023 15:31

TellerTuesday your story is really heartening that an end may be in site. I would rather the flies and smell than that awful scuttling sound in the walls, ceiling and floor.

We're blocking all holes we can find room by room. I have lots of (humane) traps in the house with a selection of bait foods, a few have triggered but not caught anything, to only mouse we caught was done 'manually' - in a box.

I can hear them in the house occasionally but no idea where they are...I thought one was under the sofa yesterday but by the time I could check the whole room I'm sure it had found a small place to hide.

A few days ago another pest control expert came out and has put loads of poison down in some key areas where we have found droppings (gas meter cupboard) or seem likely for them to hide (utility room) and now I really hope they take it and pass away. I don't even know where to go from poison and traps.

Thanks for listening, I think writing this down has helped for now. Hearing I'm not alone helps....at least until dusk when the scuttle again. 😔

OP posts:
TreesAtSea · 02/10/2023 17:57

OP, true story here: many years ago I spent days convinced I had no option but to sell my flat because there was a large spider I'd seen a few times scuttling around in the kitchen, which I hadn't been able to get rid of.

Of course it sounds crackers, but my distress and absolute certainty that I would have to move were real. I can still picture the damned thing now running between a floor cupboard and the boiler. Your mentioning of worrying about how you'll feel in future homes reminded me of this. It's a classic case of catastrophising and I know it feels overwhelming.

I can also understand perfectly your hyper vigilance in inspecting wherever you are. I've had various problems with the ceilings in my flat for ages, and always find myself glancing upwards in buildings, other people's homes, anywhere, to "check/scrutinise" the ceilings. Not out of safety concerns, but as a sort of "information gathering".

I'm assuming you've suffered from heightened anxiety before this? If so, I'd imagine this just happens to be the latest (admittedly unpleasant) thing your mind has latched upon, and that seeing your GP for help would be a good idea. If not, hopefully once the infestation is over, the anxiety will pass.

Good luck.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 02/10/2023 18:04

I lived in a flat that was a constant haven for mice- no one understands until they live with it. Your home should be a place of sanctuary, to feel invaded/ on edge, badly affects you. I used to sleep with the tv on, and a towel by the door to deter them. I ended up selling the flat I couldn’t cope. I remember sleeping my first night in my home after that- it was amazing how much I relaxed.

You need to go full throttle on them- sod the humane traps, kill them. Outside do you have mouse covers on the air bricks etc? Adjoining homes- How’s next door, are they having works? do they have them/ tackling them?

my sister had shit loads a couple of years ago- they got rid of them- it was about a month of them. There’s hope.

APurpleSquirrel · 02/10/2023 18:35

I got advice off a friend who works for the Environment Agency dealing with wildlife policy & is also a vegan - they actually advised breakback traps, rather than humane ones that catch not kill.
If you do catch them, make sure you take them at 2-3 miles away from your house so they don't find their way back. And be aware they may not survive outside in any case.
What bait are using? We were advised Nutella, chocolate etc. Our mouse was partial to ice cream cones.

Iguessyourestuckwithme · 02/10/2023 20:30

I had a rat come in and out of my flat 3 years ago over a period of a couple of weeks, and I still struggle when I hear a rustle when I'm out and about.

It's normal to feel like that after dealing with mice/rat issues.

TheWayTheLightFalls · 02/10/2023 21:25

Been there and your reaction is totally understandable. Throw lots of £, poison, traps, expertise etc at getting and keeping them out.

I discovered rats that were coming up through a disused basement loo. Bleurgh.

PinkMoscatoLover · 02/10/2023 22:23

I totally empathise.

I had mice in my flat for a whole year and only seemed to get rid of them this summer. I started about 10 threads on MN, had pest control come out about 10 times and had 100 traps in my kitchen. I finally paid for pest control instead of using the council’s one and the pest controller found a massive hole behind a cupboard.

So despite me filling up all the holes, it had no impact because there was a huge entry point which was only seen once a hole was cut out of the cupboard. I suffer from anxiety anyway but even now, when I go into the kitchen I immediately get anxious. Any noise I hear or anything that looks out of place I think ‘omg it’s mice.’

The stratching sound in the walls is so unsettling. We’d hear it in the bedroom every single night. I have no advice at all but just make sure the pest control company is doing a through job. Anyone can lay down poison, snap traps or glue traps but actively finding the source of entry worked for me. I hope the horrible anxious feeling goes away x

wornoutparent · 03/10/2023 05:29

Thanks all, your posts are giving me some hope, you've no idea how much it helps.

I'll keep trying with both the council and private pest control.

I will switch to snap traps if no improvement very shortly. To be honest I think they're more humane as APurpleSquirrel says but I had been worried about the kids being silly with them and getting injured.

I had considered just selling the property asap at a low price just to get out, but I'm terrified anywhere I move to could be the same. I know that is totally irrational, but I've never suffered from anxiety or anything remotely like this before, so will investigate this too to help control my symptoms.

OP posts:
Redglitter · 03/10/2023 05:36

I can totally sympathise. I had mice in my rented flat. I just about coped hearing them in the walls but they hot totally brazen and started running about the place. It made me ill. I dreaded going home after work & I was constantly on high alert for any noise

I was privately renting at that time & I gave notice on my flat & moved.

Even now 15 years later I cant sleep in silence because I jump at any little sound

No help to you I know but I absolutely sympathise with how you feel

McIntire · 03/10/2023 05:44

We had a lone one and tried humane trap for a week with no joy. We were going on holiday and I couldn’t face coming back to an infestation so I bought snap traps. Job done within 10 mins.

Get snap traps

Eyesopenwideawake · 03/10/2023 07:56

If you are still struggling once the mice have been evicted please consider therapy or counselling; far cheaper than moving house. As a remedial hypnotist I (or one of my Control System colleagues) could zap this phobia in a couple of sessions.

Paperbagsaremine · 03/10/2023 08:21

It is absolutely normal to feel this way. It is hideous and you have my full sympathy.

  1. Go ...Full Out War. You've done this already by calling in Pest Control, but if you've not yet done a massive tidy and clear out so that you can check ever nook, corner and cranny for holes, gaps or spilled food, get going. The sense of Doing Something will help.
  1. I used to sleep downstairs with the duvet over my ears
  1. Having taken steps, if and when I did hear anything, I would think at them, "fuck off NOW or stay and die, your choice" - now obvs mice are not telepathic but the attitude helps YOU
  1. If Pest Control have put their special poison down and done a good job, it should get quiet in a day or two. I used to welcome the deathly quiet and / or smell (ew) as it meant VICTORY and getting my house back

In short - even if you had pet rodents as a kid and it feels wrong - you have to switch to a fighting, "if I see you fuckers I will flatten you with a shovel", type attitude. It helps.

wornoutparent · 03/10/2023 20:00

Thank you all so much, such great advice and reassurance is really appreciated. It's good to hear of people and coping mechanisms to come out the other side. Writing about it here has also certainly helped too.

I'll keep at war with them. Fingers crossed.

OP posts:
Peacendkindness · 03/10/2023 20:04

wornoutparent · 02/10/2023 14:07

Thanks both.

I have never had a problem with mice before and have owned gerbils, hamsters etc before. I did read that some people have a fear of infestation (so ok with a mouse, not so good with mice crawling around their house).

I feel on the edge of a nervous breakdown with no clear way out. I know that is stupid as my problem is so much smaller than issues others deal with around the world, but I don't seem to stop the way my mind and body are reacting.

I don’t blame you I used to have them in my loft and it used to make me ill listening to them scratching around and running up and down the walls and pooing in my cupboards …. Etc

if you can get professionals in and to keep on top of the issue

sleeping tablets
anti depressants or propanol tablets to take the edge of anxiety
food in tupperware

consider a weekend away if you can

also consider a cat or emergency counselling

but I think it is high level response to a stressful situation

good luck !!

TellerTuesday · 19/10/2023 12:56

Just checking in to see how you are getting on @wornoutparent have you seen an improvement?

wornoutparent · 19/10/2023 14:55

Thank you for asking, it really means a lot.

After filling in every gap I can find and 3 poison treatments (by 2 pest controllers) things are definitely a lot quieter.

There are still some mice in the house (between floors and under the stairs) but it is dramatically improved. Most importantly there is almost no sign of anything in the lived in part of the house. I'm scared to write that in case they have a resurgence, but it does feel like there might be light at the end of the tunnel.

My pest controller is optimistic that they should all be gone by end of November (two more treatments), especially as the probable source has been identified (neighbours house, which is now being treated as well).

The support on here with everyone's recommendations has really helped my mind. I'm also getting some counselling which I really hope will help. Every creak or unusual sound, day or night still has me shaking and my heart pounding. Strangely, every time I see a small leaf blowing in the road when I'm out I panic thinking its a mouse - not a good reaction in Autumn. 🙄

At last I do feel there is some hope though.

OP posts:
TellerTuesday · 19/10/2023 21:18

Fantastic news 🥰

pjani · 19/10/2023 21:21

Well done! Just to say we actually got a cat because the rat in our kitchen distressed us so much. We ended up killing the rat using a more brutal trap but I am hoping having a cat will put any other critters off from moving in. It offers me a bit of comfort.

Jaxtellersoldlady14 · 07/02/2025 11:35

Did this ever get better for you???