Is this Burnout & what do I do?

[CantGetABreak]

Currently feel pinned to the bed, whole body like lead. My mind is working, albeit not in a happy place but I've been asleep for 3 hours (very unusual for me mid day) and now I really feel like I can't get up. I have no cold or illness.

Context - I've been miserable for 1-2 years, especially with work. My work is very high pressure, hugely long hours in a company with tons of politics, my career progression is being blocked, I get little to no feedback or acknowledgement despite asking for it and my team and I are currently dealing with a particularly difficulty situation. I realise the obvious answer is to leave - I have applied for 50+ jobs and only had one interview, where they decided to go with an internal candidate. My current role for all the issues is well paid, fully remote, truly flexible hours which is almost impossible to find elsewhere.

My home life is OK but not ideal. DH and I go through periods of arguing constantly, mostly due to work stresses. We do love each other, are fine on holiday. But our communication is poor and I don't feel he listens to me or supports my emotions. I think I'm peri menopausal which doesn't help. My DCs are at the teen age where they're arguing, pushing boundaries, just generally not always so sweet to be around.

I have a very small handful of friends. Some of whom I only see once a year. The others intermittently but none are super close. Lunch type friends not pour your heart out friends or spend all your time with friends. I've always found socialising and making friends hard and am told I come across arrogant / aloof but I don't try to be.

There are other stresses at the moment which would be too outing - losses in the family, people animals.

But I think work is by far the biggest problem.

If this is burnout what do I do? I'm increasingly just wanting to go to bed, daytimes hold no joy. But then I can't sleep properly at night. And I have increasing migraines. I feel like a failure in everything, completely trapped, like I've made all the wrong choices in life and now I'm stuck. I don't think just a holiday or duvet day will fix this, I'm so so tired.

You poor thing 😔
You sound completely burnt out to me. If you were my friend I’d advise you to get a doctors note immediately and take some time out from work. You cannot continue as you are. No-one is built to withstand that amount of stress over a continuing period of time.

Time to put yourself first sweetheart ❤️

I was depressed but it finally hit peak burnout and crisis.

I've spent the past 7 weeks resting. But it needs to be proper rest, so no feeling bad for not doing anything, if you had a broken leg you'd be in bed

I've found all that gard but feel better for having done that but I really was like a child who was off school sick I needed to be reminded not to push myself or try to do anything other than be poorly and looked after

Can you get signed off for a bit? Or go part time? You have to think of your health at a time like this.

Perhaps contact your Gp if you think you are peri menopausal to see what they can offer to help?
maybe take some annual leave to rest?

@CantGetABreak how are you now?

Hi thank you everyone. I did try to just rest on the weekend a feel a little better but still just overall exhausted and overwhelmed. I don't feel I want to be signed off because it really won't look great on my references and if I want any chance of leaving this employer, that matters. I just don't know how to change my situation as I am trying to find something else but just can't. DH and I are snapping at each other because we're so tired and stressed with work and I just can't cope with it.

Thank you sadly I've run out of AL or that would be the best idea. I did speak to GP but they just advised mirena coil at this stage because I'm still so young.

How old are you? GPs don't always know and it sounds very peri to me

Sounds more like depression than burnout to me. You don't mention your age (you say peri but also "so young") which would be helpful. Really suggest you look at HRT - your GP suggested Mirena coil but what about the estrogen side?

Please get yourself signed off so you can take time to get better. Not all employers will disclose sickness on references and in any case, any good prospective employer would be understanding.

I have just had 7 weeks off work for mental health. I was in such a bad place but feeling much better now. Best thing I ever did - should have done it sooner!