Can I just have some hugs and virtual support please? My stress bucket is overflowing and I have no-one else to offload onto...

[rue]

DH jacked his job in at new year (long story but he felt he couldn't work with someone any longer without killing them )
I work part time and cannot work any more hours.(one of my son's has problems with after school club)
My mum is in hospital having an op and I am fretting about her, plus cannot obviously use her as a shoulder to cry on.
I suffer a little from SAD and so am always a little fragile this time of year.
My support network seems to be all caught up in their own stuff.
I am struggling to juggle a college course, a new role at work, and 2 children.
We are horribly skint and i am just feeling cold and lonely and unable to burden DH with my worries as I know he is terrified. He is desperately trying to set up 3 different projects in an attempt to turn our lives around and i know if he doesn't suceed, it will not be for lack of trying.

I am usually the one who is mentally strong and cheerful and ''just gets on with it''
But it's just a scary, lonely place to be at the moment....

Thank ou to anyone who has reached the end of this tale of woe.

You actually sound incredibly together for someone who is trying to handle all that.

Really thinking of you. Can you bend the ear of one of your caught-up supporters just for 5 mins?

Awww sweetie, sometimes it does just all get on top of us, and seems too much to handle. You don't need to feel like you have let yourself, or anyone else, down for not being the strong smiley one at the moment.

Thank fuck for MN eh?!!

Try to look on the bright side of things, it is nearly spring(-ish!!), DH is trying his best by the sounds of it, and hopefully your mum is through the worst now she has had her op.

And if that doesn't work I prescribe, alcohol, chocolate, nice long soak in the bath and a foot massage from DH, in that order

thanks for that flossie ....

I am a regular on MN but have obv changed my name as some people know me in RL.

I suppose I'm terrified that If I tried to bend the ears of one of my friends, I'd lose it totally and become a gibbering wreck.

I do have a habit of getting down periodically (Usually in a reactive way to RL stuff IYSWIM) and I try not to bother anyone with it, and retreat a little until I'm feeling a little more chipper. But right now I think it's the not knowing how long things are going to be tough for which is hardest. I can't batten down my hatches indefinitely.

That is always the worst part of it. It's like labour - if someone could tell you how long it was going to last, you could mentally prepare yourself/pace yourself through it.

Re losing it: know exactly what you mean about the floodgate effect. On the other hand - if you bottle it for too long it can get worse and then you really crater. (I speak from bitter experience, having imploded fairly spectacularly mid-Jan myself and ended up taking three weeks off work).

But you can always vent here! If it helps, of course.

Do you have a sympathetic boss at work and/or supportive colleagues?

erm yes, very supportive - work in mental health! Don't wish to unburden myself too much at work though for obvious reasons.

Just venting on here helps though.

RRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!

That was a primal scream BTW.

All I meant was whether they were able to cut you a bit of slack in getting to grips with your new role. My thinking was kind of, there is so much on your plate and it might help to trim a bit off the pie (IYSWIM). Agree that not wise to share personal stuff at work too much!

Ah, rue. Poor you! Sounds like you're going through it at the minute. Nothing worse than financial worries to get you down when other stuff is also going on.

Loving the primal screaming!

Chin up, if you can. I know there's no advice that will help, so I'm just offering comfort and sympathy- and sending you a virtual cup of tea and a custard cream

well the cup of tea is very welcome - as dh has drunk all the wine .
That's another story. I'm not saying he's alcoholic or anything. But there is a certain aount of alchol dependancy going on with him at the moment. His way of stress relief I suppose. But it ain't helping with the money problems, that's for sure.

Hey rue - hope you're doing OK. Just thinking of you ATM and hope you're not feeling too close to the edge.

thanks flossie, how lovely to be thought of I must have picked up on your vibes as I just bobbed on here to 'speak' to someone else before taking a little MN break.
Have started some St John's Wort and trying to garner some mental strength. I think sometimes when I'm feeling this way, MN is 'too big'. There's nowt so lonely as a crowded room sometimes, eh?
So it's back to reality for me for a while, to try and gain some control over small things which I still have some control over IFSWIM.
Thanks for listening x