*Possible Trigger warning *Is this intrusive thoughts? How can I stop them?

[PuzzleMaze]

For about 2 years now I've had moments where certain things can trigger bad thoughts. They are mostly about children. Not of me causing them harm but other people.

To begin with it would be obvious triggers such as reading or seeing an upsetting news article. It would play on my mind for some time afterwards. One article from a while back had me so distressed I would burst into tears randomly throughout the day for a few weeks. I had to hide it from everyone as I was so embarrassed by it.

For about a year now smaller things can trigger me. Some examples may be if I hear a child crying or if my own dc are upset about something. I will get a thought in my head about other children who may be suffering. It breaks my heart!

It's often made up scenarios that I don't even know have happened.

It's causing me concern now as it happens all too often. Exercise used to help but now as soon as it's over the thoughts can creep in. I've cut down caffeine to one tea a day. Improved my diet. Nothings much helped.

It's affecting my work. I work in an office and find my mind wandering, thinking of all the pain and suffering in the world.

Also now I'm dreaming horrible things too. I will then wake up sad and it will affect my whole day.

Does this sound like intrusive thoughts? I think it does but what I read online often mentions thoughts of the individual causing harm to someone. I've never thought that, it's always of other people causing the harm.

Can anyone offer any suggestions on how I can stop these thoughts?

I know a lot of it is based on things that have actually happened or happening, but I would at least like to be able to stop the made up scenarios from coming in to my head. That would be a start for me.

Hi Op! Sorry you are having these thoughts.

Im not sure on the exact definition but it sounds very distressing. I had similar when I was in a bad place where I would suddenly visualise a plane crashing as I was walking along and my brain and senses just felt really jumpy.

I suspect that the root cause is probably anxiety related and possibly linked to something with one of your DC’s (even a non-incident where you just worried or hearing about another child the same age).

It’s very easy to let your brain go down these paths and the thoughts can keep getting worse. I think there’s something about the fight/flight response maybe. Your brain thinks it’s protecting you (or your kids from harm) with all these thoughts but it’s going into overdrive and affecting your life.

Have you spoken to a therapist about it? I think that would be the first step. Then maybe trying to get into a routine with a little meditation (even if you’ve tried before and not for you just lie down with you feet up for 5 minutes and put some relaxing music on). You’ve said exercise helps so stay in that routine and maybe try something like yoga (can do from home on YouTube with someone like ‘yoga with Adrienne’ she has lots for anxiety etc.)

Other than that depending on how bad it is definitely speak to your GP and make sure lots of self care (reading, baths etc). Are you sleeping? That’s got to be a big one.

Remember it’s just thoughts and when it happens try and imagine all your thoughts are taking you down a path you don’t want to go, so try to just tell yourself to redirect them. The more you do this eventually it does help.

Sending you a big hug 🩷

I think (could be wrong) that the thoughts are considered intrusive if they cause you distress, rather than it being based it on what the thoughts are specifically. And it sounds like these do cause you quite a bit of distress.

Can you speak to your GP?

Definitely worth a chat with your GP.
Everyone has intrusive thoughts but as someone has already said, it's when they start distressing you or taking up lots of time where you ruminate on them that it becomes an issue.
You can't always stop the thoughts but you can learn to reduce their impact - anxiety has a big impact too. CBT may be useful and for some people there's medication for the anxiety aspect.
It's not pleasant and I think it's poorly understood by most people.

I'm really embarrassed to talk to my gp about it. I find it difficult to explain.

It is hard to talk about with people who don't understand - but your GP has better understanding than most people.
You could say that you think you are experiencing intrusive thoughts and the GP will no doubt ask some questions to draw out what's been happening to you.
Good luck.

No need to feel embarrassed at all. You try writing a few bits down before you go in if it helps. Or when you call up ask for someone easy to talk to or who specialises in mental health and say you are feeling nervous.

Yes these are 100% intrusive thoughts and unfortunately you can’t stop them
what you can do is ignore them. Eventually they stop bothering you. I take fluoxetine and had a year of CBT for intrusive thoughts and anxiety. It was on the NHS

Could you show them what you've written in the OP?

Find an online way to contact the surgery if possible. Email Text. If you were to write on a piece of paper what is happening you could hand that to the gp.

An internet stranger is not going to be able to give you the magic formula to stop this and it won't go away.