should i move away from my mentally abusive elderly parents

[Bubbabubs]

I am 56 years old and my whole life has been about trying to please my parents. I have ended relationships because they told me they didn't like my partners and would disown me if i continued seeing them. I have two grown up children who have now left home and are really happy. I am looking at my own life and met a lovely man 6 years ago and we want to move away from the area to somewhere quieter and live together.

My parents have just started saying awful things that they don't trust my partner and I should dump him and be on my own. This has really got into my head as my partner is the most loving man ever and has never done anything to make me distrust him. My sons think the world of him and he is always there to help and advise them.

Should I put my life on hold and be single just to please my parents? They have been controlling all my life and always tell me if I had listened to them I would have had a good life. Should I just shut up and put up with it or say goodbye I am off and start afresh without their permanent put-down and critcisms?

They are in their late 70's but surrounded by friends and family so they won't be reliant on me if I do move 2 hours drive away but they are making me feel so guilty.

I think you know the answer already. Have you ever had therapy for this issue, too? Best of luck.

Blimey. Just go. Don't give it a second thought. It's your life, not theirs.

In the words of many a tween, "Who made them the boss of you?".

Oh get away from them and enjoy, they sound like terrible gossips.

They sound awful.

It’s easier than you might think to stop contact with parents when they are abusive. I’ve done that with my dad and don’t regret it at all.

And even if they were to become reliant on some help, it doesn’t matter and no need to feel guilty. Just because someone is elderly and vulnerable doesn’t mean they aren’t a tosser.

Please don't live your life through them. You are a grown woman and you are entitled to have your own life. Whatever you do will never be enough for them. Take back control of yourself and create some inner peace for yourself. They don't own you. Counselling would help if you can get some.

You know the answer. Leave and be with your man in a new place, try and be happy. It might not work out but then again it might... and you owe it to yourself to try. Your parents don't really care about you they just want control over you. Just go for it. Go out there and live your life. Go low contact with them and dont cave in to the guilt, obligation and shame. This is what they use to control you. You're in your 50s. This is the perfect time to detach from them and try for real happiness away from their bullshit.

Move away, get therapy.

Get off this page and start packing !! Seriously though, please look at the future paths
one is with a supportive partner who your sons happy to have in there lives . The other is reaching retirement on your own being browbeaten by these two who treat you like a puppet that the can pull the strings on .
as pp said , get therapy, you deserve to be happy. I wish you every happiness, grab this chance with both hands and don’t look back ! You know that if you don’t and meet someone else … they will do the same again . It’s about them losing control. X

Get packing girl, live your life, you've waited long enough

You know the answer to this. Be smart rather than sharp in how you deal with them and get professional help if necessary but do what you know to be the best for you.

Leave your abusive parents and go and live your life.

Is two hours far enough?

Grab this chance @Bubbabubs. Your parents have started saying these things because they can see the opportunity they have. Be strong, there will be support here if you want it.

Therapy, establish boundaries.

And live the life you deserve.

They sound awful.