Depressed. Don’t know how to help myself.

[Depresssssion]

I think I’m depressed because life isn’t great rather than it’s inevitable? But it might be? I don’t know.

I don’t love where I live but it’s fine. Work 2 days a week. Had secondary infertility that isn’t going anywhere (mid 40s now). Dc at school.

i’m constantly tired. Listless. Don’t want to do things that I need to do - practical and nice things like planning a holiday or booking stuff I need to etc. I get showered and dressed each day, drop my child off at school, cook healthy dinners, socialise intermittently. Exercise. Read. I’m doing all the stuff I’m “supposed to”.

i’m taking HRT, so it isn’t that.

But I’m so foggy and depressed and sort of think: what’s the point? I am completely and utterly unfulfilled.

You sound bored rather than depressed. What do you do for excitement?

I hear you. At various stages, I have wondered about the seeming futility of it all. I've had some really great times, but then life has a habit of throwing something unexpected to make it feel like one step forwards, two steps backwards.

I look for the small wins, try and find humour in the absurdity, and set small goals to inch forward. It's easy to be overwhelmed by circumstances (believe me, I have been there).

I also tried to list all the things that were bothering me, and challenged them one by one. Not all were solvable, but it did make me feel more in control.

I think there is also an element of 'fake it until you make it'.

As someone on both HRT and SSRI meds, is your HRT up to date? Hormones are a bugger and change constantly. It could be that your combination needs tweaking. Do you need testosterone? Is your body actually taking in the oestrogen? (My sisters patches didn’t work and she had to swap to gel)
Anyway; don’t suffer. Reach out.
x

I am definitely bored and unfulfilled and really don’t know how to stop feeling that way. I’ve thought over and over about a change in career but it feels quite hopeless. No idea what I’d do, retraining is expensive. I’m probably not helping myself! But the things I wanted to do when I was younger sound so silly now - a children’s book illustrator, a set designer. (I am a copywriter and I don’t love it but don’t hate it.)

A good idea on HRT check - I haven’t changed anything since it started! How would I know if I needed to add testosterone? Blood tests?

Not silly at all - few people can identify what would make them happy(ier) so you already have a head start. What practical steps could you take to see if it's still something you'd love to do?