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Mental health

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Flip

Original poster

Scared I won’t go back to how I was

13 replies

Cheeseoncake · 21/09/2023 09:36

Hello!

stopped sertraline after 2 1/2 years feeling 100% well following a two long year period of anxiety and low mood. Was fine for two months, then crashed. Been back on sertraline for 3 1/2 weeks now and have seen improvement, but scared I won’t go back to 100% well as I was and will remain anxious/low for a long time like I did before. Not sure what I’m asking for. Just really scared and low.

OP posts:

SomeoneInTheLaaaaaounge · 21/09/2023 09:47

Hello OP,

I totally understand how you feel and I’ve been there.

first thing to say is recovery is not linear. There are ups and downs and it’s tempting to catastrophise the down and think oh shit I’m properly sick again. I know how scary that is.

I don’t know you or your situation so I won’t patronise you and say everything will be alright and be all hearts and flowers. What I can tell you is a lot of people come on and off medication and it is a sort of dance that we do when recovering. And to have bad spells is a totally natural and expected part of recovery. So don’t think think this means your back to square one, you aren’t.

I understand the fear of being so ill again. I would urge you to look at how far you’ve come. And how much you’ve learnt and the ways you’ve been taking care of yourself to get better.

Also what about therapy? Have you been going? If not would you consider it, that’s what made the most difference to me.

Also were there circumstances or life stressors that brought on you being unwell? Have you attended to those and mitigated those best you could?

I couldn’t read and run and just wanted to let you know that what you are going through is normal and this doesn’t mean you will get poorly like you were again.

I and many, many others have made it to the other side and there’s every reason to think you will too.

Sending you best, best wishes.

Sleepimpossible · 21/09/2023 09:54

I completely understand. Try to give it time as sertraline does take time to have its full effects as you’ll know. I have a friend who was in exactly the same position and she did return to feeling completely well after about 2-3 months. She too had stopped the sertraline after a couple of years, but then crashed and had to start again from scratch.
It’s not unusual at all I believe. So just give it time again and do consider therapy as a PP mentioned. Good luck to you.

Original poster

Cheeseoncake · 21/09/2023 09:59

Thank you both. I really appreciate you taking the time to answer. I have resumed therapy although my therapist only has fortnightly space at the moment but hopefully it’ll turn into weekly soon. I need to remember how far I’ve come. One day at a time. Thank you so much for the support! It’s given me a lot of hope

OP posts:

Original poster

Cheeseoncake · 25/09/2023 22:16

Is there anyone out there who has gone through a relapse and can share their experience? I keep thinking about how well I was for 2+ years and can’t believe I’m in the mud again. It feels so defeating. I’m trying to remind myself to take one day at a time, not to look back or forward, and stay in the present, but it’s SO hard to go back to such a dark place. Still can’t believe it’s happening.

OP posts:

Original poster

Cheeseoncake · 26/09/2023 08:25

Bump

OP posts:

Eyesopenwideawake · 26/09/2023 10:54

What was the original cause of the anxiety? Dealing with that is the best way of preventing crashes in the future.

WhisperingJesse · 26/09/2023 11:03

It may not be a relapse as such. It may be withdrawal effects from the medication. How long and slow was your reduction of the med?

There's a growing realisation recently that these antidepressants are a lot harder to come off for many people than previously believed. There was a Panorama documentary about this a few months ago.

You should take a look at www.survivingantidepressants.org and take advice from support groups here on FB.

WhisperingJesse · 26/09/2023 11:06

This happened to my daughter earlier this year. She reinstated the meds and it took a few months but after 3-4 months she is back to how she was before.

Original poster

Cheeseoncake · 26/09/2023 12:42

WhisperingJesse · 26/09/2023 11:03

It may not be a relapse as such. It may be withdrawal effects from the medication. How long and slow was your reduction of the med?

There's a growing realisation recently that these antidepressants are a lot harder to come off for many people than previously believed. There was a Panorama documentary about this a few months ago.

You should take a look at www.survivingantidepressants.org and take advice from support groups here on FB.

Thanks for this. I did wonder about it myself when I got the symptoms back, but I was too scared to wait and find out, jumped back on the medication. I just thought it wouldn’t take this long for things to improve as I took the tablets straight away and had just come off them only 2 1/2 months prior. I’m now scared it was a mistake going back on them but I’ve done 4 weeks and not feel like I need to stick with it. Don’t know how much my symptoms are my anxiety/restarting the meds which I have upped quite quickly too to go back to where I was. Wish I had been wiser and not done this to myself.

OP posts:

Original poster

Cheeseoncake · 26/09/2023 12:43

Eyesopenwideawake · 26/09/2023 10:54

What was the original cause of the anxiety? Dealing with that is the best way of preventing crashes in the future.

It started during my first pregnancy, with prenatal and postnatal OCD. My children are now 7 and 3 and had been doing so well since the birth of my second, so much so I thought he had saved me and thought me I was not a broken mum. I was wrong!

OP posts:

Original poster

Cheeseoncake · 26/09/2023 12:44

WhisperingJesse · 26/09/2023 11:06

This happened to my daughter earlier this year. She reinstated the meds and it took a few months but after 3-4 months she is back to how she was before.

Thank you for this and sorry to hear your daughter has gone through it too. Glad to hear she’s better!

OP posts:

PauliesWalnuts · 26/09/2023 12:47

You are not a broken mum. You aren’t a broken anything. You’re looking after yourself, spotting the signs, and looking at being well again. That’s being a great mum.

I found when I had a relapse it actually showed me signs to look for so that I could plan lifestyle changes in, get therapy, medication etc. When it’s happened before you get better at managing it.

Original poster

Cheeseoncake · 26/09/2023 16:05

PauliesWalnuts · 26/09/2023 12:47

You are not a broken mum. You aren’t a broken anything. You’re looking after yourself, spotting the signs, and looking at being well again. That’s being a great mum.

I found when I had a relapse it actually showed me signs to look for so that I could plan lifestyle changes in, get therapy, medication etc. When it’s happened before you get better at managing it.

Thank you for your kind words. I think I stupidly thought my encounter with mental health issues was over. I imagined I’d maybe struggle hitting menopause but felt so so so well it feels like such a shock!

OP posts:

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