I can’t do this anymore

[Zombieof3]

My job is literally killing me. I hate going there, the other colleagues are bullies, management do nothing and I’m so sick of it. It’s making me so ill. I applied for a different position within the same company but different team and found out today I didn’t get it.

i can’t do this anymore, yes, I can keep looking for another job but it means I have to stay stuck in a miserable toxic environment that is literally ruining everything. I’ve recently taken two weeks from work due to mental health, I can’t afford not to work but I can’t face it anymore. I’m so done. It makes me think it would be better off if I just wasn’t here to feel all this crap. I’m so ducking done

It can be hard to job hunt when you’re being battered by your existing job.

How are you job hunting - and what kind of work do you do? Maybe you could temp for a while, until you find something you really want to do.

my best advice is switch off after work. Do something completely else! Don’t let it destroy you - don’t give them that power over you. You’re worth more than that.

Please, please speak to someone if you are feeling so low. There is help out there.

I had a massive breakdown last week and I am still struggling but the GP and the community crisis mental health team have been brilliant.

My GP has signed me off work for 2 weeks to start with while I try to recover. Maybe speak to them and give yourself some more time to time and take a break.

I honestly don’t know what to do. My manager knew I was applying for that job and would know that I didn’t get it, so he will know if I don’t go in it’s because of that, except it isn’t.
the job is so draining, I love the actual role but for the most part it’s incredibly toxic with colleagues literally making awful accusations against other staff, I’m constantly being watched, I get no help and other staff are downright rude to me. If I had gotten this job at least I would have known there is an end in sight but I honestly can’t do this. Im so done. I can’t go in and pretend to be nice to people who are awful to each other. Im just so fed up with it all and I just want out but I can’t afford to. So my only option is to literally run myself into the ground where I will probably end up doing something stupid because my depression is so bad at the moment or to quit and have zero money to live on and no reference for a different job. I feel so fucking stuck and I can only see one option out of this and it’s with me out of the picture

You say you took two weeks off for your mental health... You don't say whether this was leave or whether you were signed off, but I think you need to speak to the GP tomorrow and get signed off for longer, as it seems clear that work is a major factor in how you are feeling right now. You need time to regroup and consider your options without the pressure of having to go work every day.

Other than that, is working from home on a temporary / permanent basis an option that your management might consider? You say you like the role itself, which suggests that you are good at your job and therefore valued. They may prefer to make a reasonable adjustment for you than to lose your services.

If that fails, I think you need to speak to HR about the bullying.

But above all else, if you are feeling really down, please call a mental health helpline / the Samaritans. They may be able to help you stop your thoughts from spiralling.

Take care of yourself and good luck...

It was sick leave from the gp, I went back last Thursday, I was really only holding on for the chance of this new position. I’ll speak with gp tomorrow but I’m not sure it’ll do anything. I’m so skint already, I honestly have just thought of ending it all, no more worries or stress but I can’t do it to my kids.

I will be putting in a Hr claim, it’s an awful place to work, never experienced anything like it.

working from home won’t work as I support homeless young adults and manage two properties that they stay in. It’s a shame the staff are so awful as it’s such a rewarding job.

hopefully the gp will help, thank you x

Definitely take some time off sick to relax and rest at home, while looking for a new job.

Please put yourself first, not a company that seems that they don't care about their employees.

I don’t even know what to say to my manager though as he will just think it’s because I didn’t get the job but it’s about so much more than that