Does anyone else find being off work with poor mental health excruciating?

[Greedybilly]

Also what are you actually supposed to do whilst you're off apart from worry that work will think you're a fraud? I tried to take an overdose last weekend (30 years of depression) having tried to swap antidepressants too quickly. Gp and crisis team been crap. Signed off for 2 weeks but just sitting around worrying and feeling crap. Literally don't know what to do with myself. Tried walking, meditating bla bla but feel terrible. Please help.

I agree with others, I had to absolutely commit myself to pulling myself out of the emotional hole I was in. Medication helped...but I had to put work in too. I get it and I know it feels unmanageable.
Start slow and focus on getting through each day. Give yourself tiny goals even if its get a shower and brush your hair, or put a wash load on, or change the sheets. You'll feel like you've achieved something. It helps me to have tiny achievements and plans and then slowly things become habits and also now in the longer term, it helps me recognise when I might need to pay a little extra attention if my habits start to slide as this generally means my mental health is slipping.

I'm taking new Ad's (venlafaxine) and I honestly think they're making me worse/suicidal

How long have you been taking them? When I started on Prozac my GP warned me I might feel worse first. A quick search of Venlafaxine does list mood changes and suicidal ideation as side effects. What could you do tonight to keep yourself a little occupied?

Been on ad's 20 years. Been on venlafaxine 3 weeks and not going well. V aware of side effects just literally feels like torture each day.

@Zola1 thsnku. Watching a film and then bath I think.x

Can you ring gp tomorrow and discuss side effects?
Sounds like a great plan then when you've done those two things it'll basically be a reasonable time to go to bed. Stay task focused if you can x

There’s a lot to be said for comfort TV-watching old favourite box sets and comfort reading. I think walking without a purpose can feel a bit meh unless your neighbourhood has particularly nice places to walk, but getting a bit of fresh air and daylight every day does help. Do you like dogs and happen to have any friends and neighbours who’d like their dog to have a bit of extra exercise?

You can literally never get a gp appointment/see the same person twice at my health centre.Not being awkward it's just sooo hard to find a gp that knows/cares about swapping pills over.
No I bloody hate dogs. I appreciate you trying though I really do ! A walk is always good if I can get motivated.x

The fact that you are getting up and doing stuff, and have the bored feeling, is a good sign I think. You could be curled up in bed gif 2 weeks but you're clearly stronger than that right now. Keep thinking tomorrow will be the day I feel better.... and eventually you will xx

My tip is: Join a couch to 5k group on MN, the solidarity will help and you’ll be doing something positive each day, working towards a goal. Setbacks are normal so don’t beat yourself up.

I have a colleague on another team currently off sick due to stress. She keeps getting her sick note extended so management didn’t hire cover until we were four months in. I got dumped with all her work for the first four months and then stuck training the cover person so it has been horrible for me too as she left everything in a mess because she wasn’t coping before she was signed off and had been keeping the problems very quiet. She would have guessed that I’d be the one getting her work when she went off sick, and she hasn’t replied to the few very gentle messages I sent. It makes me sad as I thought we were becoming friends (I only joined a few months before she got sick), I wouldn’t have been cross as I was really, really worried about her.

I absolutely do believe she is sick with stress - I don’t doubt it for a second.

But I do wish she would at least engage with HR and tell them how she is doing, etc. as just disappearing for 7 months has been the worst thing - I see her posting chirpy messages on LinkedIn so I know she is alive at least.

So I’m just saying it might not be as bad as you think, to speak to or emailcolleagues. Go via HR if you feel better about it. It’s okay to tell people you are having a hard time - you are sick. You aren’t skiving. Your colleagues might be absolutely relieved to hear from you.

@LadyBitsnBobs I didn't say I wasn't keeping in touch with boss/colleagues. Tbh that's the least of my worries right now.

@rollonretirementfgs thankyou for your
wise words.x

I used to walk at night in case I needed to cry, so it wouldn't be obvious. Binge-reading is good because it sort of throws you into a different world for a bit.

I was signed off for 6 weeks a couple of years ago, and I needed it - but equally I didn’t really start to feel remotely better until I went back to work. Being off was a bit of a double edged sword for me.

My advice would be- don't be hard on yourself. If you can have a routine and get out in the fresh air or for a coffee etc then great, do that. But sometimes, we just can't. When I was off for three months, for the first month or so, I simply could not get off the sofa and had to take each day minute by minute... sometimes it felt like getting through the next 60 seconds was too agonising. I realised that I wasn't well and at that moment in time, there was no point beating myself up that I wasn't getting off the sofa or out of the house. Being on that sofa was all I could muster, and that was ok.

Thanks all. I appreciate your perspectives - 'get signed off' and 'see you gp' are comments thrown around so carelessly and I appreciate hearing from people with lived experience.

Constant distraction from your thoughts- pp have it right with the suggestions of comfort tv& books, light hearted funny stuff. I see the couch to 5k app was suggested, I would second this as well as it will give a structure to your walks if you manage to go on any (as pp have said, don't be hard on yourself if you need to just sit on the sofa). It's awful to be going through this with MH support so non- existent. Really lonely feeling when the GP and crisis team are crap and not offering anything helpful. But you can and will get through this. Take it minute by minute. Sending you a virtual hug.

I am sorry to hear how you are feeling and I totally get it. I am in a bit of a mess right now too. It is really hard to know what to do I am sick of feeling like this.
I feel guilty and a bit pathetic, why can't I just get on with it?
The trouble is, you can't, so time is what is needed. I hope your venlafaxine side effects settle down. I always found it took at least 4 weeks.
My self care is much like, others have suggested really, nothing, that takes to much effort or thought.
I force myself into the shower and get dressed (sometimes just clean PJ's) do my hair and make up.
I listen to audiobooks I cannot concentrate on reading, it distracts me from my endless negative thoughts.
If you can going out for a walk is great.
If all else fails it is ok to sleep, take time off work but, not to long as I believe in the long run it makes things so much harder.
I have just restarted mirtazapine so at least I am sleeping.
Look after yourself lots of people still struggle to understand depression and MH but it really is torturous.

You need a referral.

Please go back to the doctor or go to A&E for your worsening thoughts. I think the latter might be good.

@NnarcissaMalfoy thanku.x

@spoonfuladay I've had a referral! Now on a bloody waiting list :(

I tried to end it almost 5 weeks ago. Thankfully the woman I spoke to checked on a few days later and realised things were still bad so I had a risk review and got given home first help.

I have new medications prescribed by a psychiatrist a nd have been passed onto a long term.solution however i have to wait 3 months for a space.

So while I'm better than I was 4 weeks ago, I've got to.hold on til at least christmas for any real help.

What helped was telling two close friends what was going on and they've been a god send do you have anyone you can talk to??

I was signed off for 4 weeks after I attempted to end my life. My work made it clear they didn't expect to see me for a long time but I found having no purpose to my day made me feel worse. My cpn agreed that easing myself back into work would be beneficial but I feel like an outcast as everyone has been gossiping about my absence.

Take your time, focus on yourself. I know people say that all the time but really give some thought as to what would bring you a little happiness and do it.

The trouble is that two weeks just isn't enough time for anything to change, which means that naturally the time that you do have away from work is kind of squandered in worrying about the return.

I'm in my second month of sick leave for depression (exacerbated by the build-up to an incredibly stressful and traumatic event that is scheduled to happen soon). I've had shorter times off before, but it wasn't until I finally bit the bullet and arranged this longer-term leave that I began to get any benefit at all from staying off work. Still not sure that anything will be profoundly different when I return but I have at least given myself some proper headspace.

As for how to fill the time, it is important not to batter yourself with 'shoulds'. The time you have right now doesn't have to be spent actively turning your life around in some way. Rest comes first.

For me, helpful things include the gym, dog walks, running, gardening. Basically anything that drains off some of the stress by converting it into physical activity.

Well had a walk today, bought a couple of books and made a spag bol so massive achievements and felt a glimmer of light coming in.Have told a couple of mates because I've got to an age where I just think I can't pretend I'm ok when I'm not - I wouldn't try to hide a broken leg would I? Won't be so honest with work though because people are very judgy.