Hi, I’m really looking for some advice.
Since December of last year, I have struggled with panic attacks and anxiety that have manifested into physical symptoms, mainly being chest pain that spreads elsewhere and mimicked a heart attack. I was having this every day and went to a&e on 3 occasions, to which test results were clear. I was referred to cardiology to be safe. After my initial appointment, the cardiology specialist told me she currently sees no issues and no risk factors for cardiovascular disease or heart attack, but I have been referred for a heart echo and 24 hour ECG to be thorough, which I’m waiting for.
I have all the classic symptoms of anxiety and almost every physical symptom you can manifest. I recently started CBT and am on my 3rd lot of antidepressants for anxiety disorder - 1st sertraline, which made me worse, then Citalopram, to which I was ok for a while then saw a sudden dip in depression by the 8th week. I stopped abruptly for around 4 days and had a “episode”. I was then started on Duloxetine straight away, which I am now on my 5th week of taking (30mg).
However, in addition to anxiety symptoms, I have experienced other symptoms that are non-typical of anxiety disorder. My best friend, partner, and even my neighbour who doesn’t know me until I spoke with her today following an argument yesterday, suspects I have bipolar disorder. All three people mentioned have experience with other close loved ones having severe mental health issues.
My symptoms that concern me are:
- Being ok and reasonable one minute, then picking arguments with my partner the next, to then being ‘normal’ again within the hour
- Most days lacking in energy and feeling fatigued, to sometimes feeling adrenaline to the point I have to go out and walk
- Extreme anger outbursts, for no apparent reason or over very little things, where I will shout and scream
- Episodes of depression - I don’t feel depressed all of the time, this is more like depressive ‘episodes’ where I feel suicidal, tearful and unable to get out of bed
- Making irrational decisions, ie showing up at my dads house at midnight to ‘have it out with him’ after feeling abandoned. Booking a hotel room I could not afford for me and my son following an argument with my partner
- Walking out of the house over a small argument, then saying I am not going to come home, I’m going to run away or I want to kill myself
- A single episode of what I would describe as mania - Feeling adrenaline, overly happy, talking extremely fast and believing I could walk 40 minutes into town by myself for no reason, until my partner collected me after a friend expressed concerns
- Sudden mood changes, from teary and depressed, to angry and snappy, to happy again
This has severely impacted my relationships with my partner, friends and parents. My behaviour as of recently has been unpredictable and my anger outbursts have been nothing short of embarrassing. My father doesn’t believe there to be anything wrong with me, as there’s ‘no such thing as depression or anxiety’ and it’s ‘all in my head’, despite my ridiculous behaviour and multiple doctors diagnosing me with anxiety disorder.
Does this sound like potential bipolar? I am hesitant to contact my GP as I’m unsure of this and wanted to know what non-biased people outside of my bubble think. My partner who is with me every day, and my closest friend, think bipolar is a high possibility.
Please be kind as I am struggling to come to terms with this and don’t know what to do - To ask for an evaluation or not? I only want to ask for one, if it seems like it could be bipolar, as I don’t want to waste anybodys time.
thanks so much.