Unhappy with my life

[LemonAda376]

I am 35, married with a young son and more and more I feel I am just generally unhappy with my life.

• I'm unhappy and would go as far as to say I hate my job. The only thing keeping me there is the money and I have no energy or ambition to move on.

• my marriage isn't great either. My husband doesn't really help at all with anything in the house or life admin in general and makes me feel like when he spends time with our son like he's doing me some sort of favour.

He also moans and is quite negative about most things. I feel like he's always getting onto my about stuff but then literally spends 90% of his waking life trying to get into my pants- I have zero interest.

• we are in debt and feel like we are always struggling or trying to catch up. I'm living month to month sometimes and therefore I can't do a lot to make myself feel better in term of leisure activities. I always feel like my money disappears and I'm not buying lots and lots of luxuries.

• don't get my wrong we have a comfortable life- we have a nice house in a nice area, a car etc. I don't know how some other people manage who earn less.

I went to the doctor after my son was born as I was definitely suffering from PND but didn't get picked up until he was over a year old and feel it's never really fully lifted or I'm just a different person now.

I used to be so organised and on thing at work and in my home life and now I feel like everything is a struggle. My standard with my house have dropped which also makes me mad as I can't stand mess.

The doctor put me forward for talking therapy which I didn't find helpful and I don't feel medication would help either. I don't think I'm depressed just fed up with my new life and lack of enjoyment I get from anything.

I love my son to bits but he is hard work at times and it's a bit like ground hog day.

I don't know what I expect from this post as I know its up to me to me to make changes but I suppose i just needed to vent.

If you split with DH you wouldn’t have to do his share of life, and hopefully he’d want some time with his child, so you’d get time off.
Is that what you want ? Do you love him ?

@DustyLee123
I honestly have thought about it in the past but I don't want to give up my house and couldn't afford to keep it if we split.

I do love him as the father of my child but I've lost respect for him if that makes sense?

Sounds like you have a husband problem, first and foremost. It's up to him to make changes before you tell him to sling his hook.

I do understand about the lack of respect. Have you hit resentment yet ? That’s the relationship killer.
Would you/he consider relationship counselling ?
And lack of enjoyment is a depression symptom. It might be worth trying the medication, say for 6 months and do a symptom/feelings diary, before the marriage ends. I say that as I decided to try 3/6 months on HRT to see if my relationship problems are me or him.

@DustyLee123

I 100% resent him! We did relationship counselling before our son was born and it worked to an extent but we couldn't afford it now. We are in debt and have little disposable income as it is.

Whenever I mention to him about hiring unhappy or his lack of effort I just get told I'm a moan or what I want done is 'unnecessary' and I'm never happy with what I've got.

Or he changes for a week and then things just go back.

I want my son to grow up with a nice style of life and live in a nice home etc. we've spend a bit of money doing up the house and I wouldn't want to lose it.

He changes for a week, then things just go back. So he’s not going to change.
You put up with it, or make a move.