Anxiety is kicking my a*s.

[RR15]

Health anxiety is kicking my a*s. Badly. To the point I am sat in A&E, GP or completely bed bound. I’m awaiting a neurologist appointment and also getting referred for a 24 hour ecg. I’m suffering so badly with physical symptoms.
-Racing heart/palpitations (24hr ecg to be done soon)
-sickness and actually being physically sick
-Extreme fatigue
-Headaches/dizziness/numb legs (awaiting neurologist appointment)

My GP has actually been fairly good in the sense of listening and going forward with further testing. Done extensive blood work which has all come back normal but cannot shift from my head there is something sinister like cancer, MS or tumours somewhere.

It’s ruining my life right now. I am 27 with 3 beautiful kids who I adore dearly and I’m completely failing them with being a panicked, nervous wreck all the time constantly thinking I’m dying.

I suppose I’m writing this here to hear of anyone else in the same boat and who has had positive outcomes on anxiety/health anxiety. I can’t keep on like this. I don’t want to go down the anti depressant route. CBT? Hypnosis? What works? I haven’t got any past trauma, I absolutely love my life. Supportive family, husband and kids I’m very lucky to of not had a terrible upbringing or past trauma. I have absolutely no idea what’s bought this crippling anxiety on bar the thought of leaving my kids without a mummy. Not seeing them start school, birthdays or Christmases. Leaving my husband without a wife. It’s killing me mentally.

Please help :(

Hello RR15, I'm sorry you're going through this. It sounds like you have very extreme anxiety, triggering real physical symptoms. I'm no expert at all but I would think that medication would be needed as well as some pretty good CBT or some other kind of talking therapy. Have you got anything in place in that respect yet?
The thought of leaving our loved ones can be absolutely crushing sometimes. From time to time I have it too and it feels overwhelming. I have to push the thoughts out immediately as its so distressing. I'm feel sad you as this sounds so awful. Please be hopeful that this will get better. Would you be able to privately fund some help at all?

I've just seen you are reluctant to try antidepressants. Hypnosis might be worth a try... My daughter had some sessions which helped a bit.
Sometimes the medications give you a chance to be more rational and make the thoughts less intense. They are truly lifesaving when they are really needed. They take a few weeks to work but they give you a bit of a break from the intense worry. That way your brain is freed up to do the work of CBT and you may be able to move through this.