Postnatal Depression in Dads

[gazsm]

Hello

6 years ago I wrote here about how I was newly diagnosed with PND as a dad.

I was ripped to pieces by mums. It was a really new thing to be diagnosed as a dad and I wasn't welcomed as I thought I might be. I was an imposter. a fake.

It really set me back. it pushed me into a dark place and I no longer wanted to reach out to support forums and groups. I stopped using mumsnet shortly afterwards and this is the first time I have been on in a long while.

I looking for honesty here please. Has the lay of the land changed? Are we more open now to dads having PND? are we more accepting?

I am not looking for a fight I am genuinely interested to see if over the course of 6 years that views have changed. Mens Mental health needs have become much more prominent over the last few years and I have found help and am doing much better. I.am now interested in how things can change (or not change) over time.

thank you.

I hope things are better for you now.
I don’t remember that thread but I suspect a poor reception would be as much to do with coming here- a majority women, majority mother site and asking for help. Tbh we’re most of us pretty burned out fixing kids and men- just the wrong audience.

Agree with @Lamelie

i completely get it. however it was at the time that dadsnet was a chat subject and they were trying to get dad's more involved. I just misjudged the audience I suppose. thanks for your honesty.

Post natal depression is a specific condition linked to hormonal changes post-birth. It's not possible for fathers to get it because they don't go through birth/have the same hormones.

I believe it's entirely possible for men to go through mental health blips after becoming fathers, but it isn't PND. And yes, the audience here isn't necessarily minded to spend their time 'fixing' men, that's another factor that probably played into things.

That said, I'm sorry you suffered an episode of poor mental health and am glad you're feeling better now. I wonder what your motivation for posting this now is and what you want from this post though?

As a new mum and DH being a new dad, I found it really heartening to hear the MW spend time with DH at a couple of our appointments and highlight that dads can be affected mentally by the birth of their child too. She also signposted him to a couple of organisations locally that he could link in with if he felt he needed it.

I've been very fortunate to have access to mental health support through our pregnancy and up until baby turns 1 which I've found invaluable so far. Don't get me wrong I had to push for the support even with a pre-existing mental health issue. Appreciate this isn't always the case across the UK. Mental health support of the parents seems to finally be coming to the forefront (well locally anyway) which is refreshing and the stigma seems to be slowly breaking around mental health and the potential impact pregnancy / new parenting role has on the parents.

thanks for your reply.

I get what you are saying. I didn't diagnose myself though it was proposed by my HV and the diagnosed by the GP and MH nurse.

I've just started a new round of counselling and the counsellor suggested seeing If things had changed to gain a more positive experience.

I totally get that the "dadsnet" trial was a poor idea but I am still a member and I don't need fixed. this site is a great resource for parents whatever the gender.

PND is woman specific you have depression your child's health visitor should have known better than to give you that label

That being said i hope your getting help with your depression now and wish you well

PND is woman specific you have depression your child's health visitor should have known better than to give you that label

That's not what the NHS says, which is presumably what the HV was following.

PND in dads

We all know how concise the NHS is with using their words.
You were depressed after the birth of your child, not triggered by the fluctuations of hormones after birthing a child.
The distinction is actually important since the cause of depression can help define the treatment you need.

I'm glad you are on the road to recovery.

Search ADHDFatherUK. He works in MH and had depression after his child was born x

With the absolute greatest of respect to you and the NCT, I utterly, utterly reject a definition of an illness that has partner violence as a symptom. That can fuck right off. Pregnancy is a recognised trigger for violence against women and it isn't because men have PND.