Hi, My mother has paranoid schizophrenia and has done all my life. She takes tablets for it well so she says. She’s also a hoarder and her flat has got to the stage of being unsafe.
I was always tripping over bags. She doesn’t look after herself either so I reached out to her landlord to get her help. At first she was keen on the idea then she told them not to tell me anything as I was her delegated authority. So I had no idea how she was getting on unless she told me.
Anyway she’s now got signed up with MIND someone from the mental health team to help her. I also got in contact with MIND to see about a carer as my sister and I do not have the capacity to take care of her.
Last week I got called away from my work as the carer and her psychiatrist had visited her and she was not answering the door. Also my mother refused to answer any of my calls days before but spoke with my sister.
I was thinking the worst not knowing what to expect. I had her key so I was able to get in then she stood up and asked me what we were doing there. The police got called too she said she didn’t hear us knock or call.
She was ranting about the neighbour below her swearing saying the IRÀ are after her with her neighbour making insulting accusations.
Then she turned on me she said it’s all my fault why she’s ill for going to her landlord saying her flat was dirty and how we refused to visit her on her home. I got upset and cried shouted out to her all I wanted was to get help. I ran off and she told me to p* off
The police and medical team tried to call me down but she upset me and it still upsets me now.
She was also saying how much she was glad my father was dead and was insulting my heritage in which the police man told her to be respectful.
Then when the policeman told her to say sorry she said it then did how I’ve kept her grandson away from her not visiting etc although there was plenty of opportunities where we could of met up outside the home. Again she upset and she told me to bugger off.
Her psychiatrist said they want to treat her inside her home not sending her to hospital and how I should give my key to my sister as I’m going on holiday next week. I told my sister about her having the key and there’s no way she can cos if living 1 hour away and having 2 kids so it’s always me being the first port of call.
They said if she doesn’t answer the door they will break it down. I know my mother is ill but there was no need for her to be nasty to me she’s never turned against me and she’s now getting the help she needs. She has a long way to go in her flat but I can see results already but yet I’m the bad one in all of this. So I decided to post back her key. I’m not being dragged into this no more.
The next day I put my phone on airplane mode my sister sent me a what’s app message asking mr if I’ve heard from the crisis team as they called her said they need to see our mother. They did call me but my answerphone was on. My sister said she can’t help she has 2 kids stuck to her.
Anyway they managed to see her and she’s still aggressive and kicking off but she’s not having a go at my sister.
I just feel hurt and I know she’s not well but even when she’s well she said to never keep my son away from her as it made her so mentally ill.
I’ve had to take a huge step back now as I no longer have this key to her flat I just feel I need to let the mental health team care for her and my sister will have to now help as I’ve have done for years and even lost my job over it which I’m not prepared to do again.
I don’t even want to speak to my mother now months ago she told me she has leukaemia and was dying yet she never told that to my sister. I’m trying to forget about how she’s turned against me but it still upsets me and I really don’t know how to deal with it anymore. I’m just ignoring any calls should she try to call me.