Coping after car accident

[threecupsofteaminimum]

I was clipped by a lorry on the M5 on Wednesday traveling home with my son who was in the front in his car seat, literally the car just started spinning left and right uncontrollably straddling 3 lanes spinning out of control before I could try to grab the steering wheel, we then hit it the lorry again, did one or two 360 spins before I manager to stop the car against the concrete wall of the hard shoulder.

Miraculously my DS aged 7 was asleep and doesn't really remember much. He escaped unscathed. I dislocated my right shoulder but am now fine. We were both fully checked over in hospital once the ambulance arrived and took us away.

Now we're back home I am not coping mentally and feel really alone and scared. I've called the doctors and the earliest they can call is 4th September.

I’m trying to sort police and insurance stuff and I’ve spent most of the past 2 days on hold.

I know I should be grateful we’re alive and ok but it feels like the rest of the world carries on and I’m left with the perpetual image in my head of the car suddenly becoming possessed and spinning and being hit and me having no control and just thinking this is it my baby and me are gonna die.

I don’t know how I’m going to get through this. It feels like my life is one big disaster.

Sorry, M25.

Omigosh that sounds insanely scary you poor poor things.

Having your son with you during this will have made the fear 100x worse!

Be kind to yourself, it's still incredibly recent and you are understandably still traumatised.

Can you talk to family or friends about how you feel? It might help you process it.

You've had an enormous shock and a glimpse of your own mortality so it's natural, unfortunately, for your mind to still be processing what happened by rerunning the event. Sometimes it helps to write it all down (which you will probably need to do for the insurance anyway) to help understand the sequence of events and to realise that you were not at fault. If you can, concentrate on those last moments - the part when you came to a halt and you saw your son was unhurt.

Complete sympathy OP, I was in a car accident 3 weeks ago and had my baby in the car. I was also injured and people asking what I've done when they see my pot is hard as I have to keep saying I was in a car crash and it brings it all back! I will say that 3 weeks in the anxiety is fading a bit, especially at night. Because I was really struggling to sleep as I'd keep thinking about all the what ifs, what if I'd died, what if baby was injured etc. It's horrible dealing with the insurance too though.

I just keep focusing on the fact I'm still alive and my baby is fine. I know exactly what you're going through though!

That sounds terrifying, I'm glad you are both OK. I witnessed and was first on scene to a fatal collision (and had our own mini one when someone went into the back of us)

I developed what the GP said was Acute Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, it lasts about a month and happens because your adrenaline is running high and your brain can't process the memories into the longterm which is why you have flashbacks. GP recommended lots of short day time naps to help the brain process what happened instead of long night time sleeps where I was laying awake instead. After 2-3 weeks I was OK again.

It sounds really scary. Am glad you are both ok physically.
It's really normal to be feeling how you are feeling now. It's just your brain processing what has happened. Most people start to feel better over the next few weeks. If it lasts longer then that therapy can help (TF-CBT or EMDR) but not indicated until you have given yourself a bit of time to naturally process what has happened.
Keep trying to remind yourself that you are now safe, it's over and you are at home now. Try and be nice to yourself, get as much rest as you can, eat well, do some gentle exercise.
Hope you feel better soon X

I have spoken to friends yes, they have been lovely. I don't feel like I want to keep going over it with DS in earshot as I want him to forget about it even though that's all I've done this past few days with phone calls to highways and insurers etc.

I suppose I am still in shock. It just feels so surreal, we both keep looking outside to see where the car is and it isn't there. He asked me where it was yesterday as he'd forgotten, it's so weird.

Thank for your kindness. X

That sounds awful OP, I’m so glad you’re both ok.

As others have said you need to process it, and that will take some time. Your brain is trying to accept and store what happened which is why you can’t get it out of your head. Talking it over with people, with a counsellor, and/or writing all your feelings down will help. It’s hard but try not to block it out, instead tell yourself this did happen, it was terrifying, and you will let it pass through your mind as much as it needs to. That way it will settle down and it will be easier to move on from it.

if you have time to read a book at the moment, the book Island by Aldous Huxley has a part about this kind of thing and I’ve always found it really helpful. The hero has to climb a cliff and halfway up he sees a snake and is so scared he almost falls off. He is haunted by it until someone helps him accept it by letting his brain go over and over it.

Mindfulness could really help too as it’s about letting thoughts come and go freely.

And as PPs have said do kind things for yourself - even just cups of tea, bubble baths, little things. 💐

You may experience PTSD after your accident. I was involved in a road traffic accident (with added variables re. passengers). GP advised to have some EMDR (which you would most likely have to arrange privately). I believe it helped me. I managed to get back in the car again after being scared of passing traffic.